Grief and Loss Counseling in Carpinteria, CA.

The process of grief can feel like a roller coaster and many people judge themselves about how they "should" or "shouldn't" be feeling on this bumpy ride; they want to know what is "normal" and if they are grieving in the "right" way. Take heart, there aren't any rights or wrongs here, together we can help you understand what you might expect as part of the process of grief and also give you tools to move through this process. Loss permeates our lives in many forms, loss of innocence, loss of dreams, loss of relationship, loss of work, loss of life -- it is unavoidable and well worth our time and investment to learn ways of living with it and through it with compassion and grace.

Grief is natural. It is our human response to change or loss. It can be very painful. How the pain of grief moves through the body, mind, and soul is unique to each person. Sometimes we don't know why we feel empty, hurt, or sad. The process of gently exploring and sharing in a supportive environment helps us to really feel the feelings so they can pass through. We can then slowly begin to move forward again.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

Grief and loss effects all of us to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of the grieving process, and never rush my clients through it. When we grieve our losses we honor them. I often use EMDR to facilitate the grieving, and also use the Kubler-Ross stages of grief to help the client understand what he or she is going through. Clients come out of their grieving process not only with a greater understanding of their loss, but also of themselves.

Everyone experiences losses in their life. Loss is a part of life. From the loss of someone close to us, a family member, or even a pet, all of us are susceptible to feelings of deep overwhelming depression and grief around losing those people and relationships that are important to us. Finding the motivation to move forward, and the will to live your life again in a new way can be difficult challenge on your own. I've helped many people work through depression and grief and I am happy to help you if that's issue for you. If you or someone you know is experiencing depression, I have over 18 years of clinical experience successfully helping people get back on their feet and enjoy life again.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief can hit you like a ton of bricks or creep up on you day by day. Its course is unpredictable and its pace needs to be honored. Most of all clients who have experienced grief and loss come to counseling needing a safe, accepting space in which they can express all of their feelings. They need to know that their counselor can handle the full range of those feelings--despair, anger, terror, gratitude, love--whatever is coming up on any given day. They need not to be pushed but to be honored as they move through life's greatest challenge.

Grief and Loss are some of the most real and difficult emotions and feelings to deal with and to cope and live with. Loss of a beloved family relationship, dear friend, mentor, as well as a beloved pet can cause a shock and vast loss that is seemingly impossible to overcome. Grief and loss therapy is very important to me and has been a major part of my decades of counseling. Grief and loss therapy is not a band aid to the pain. It is a process for working to create closure and a continued internal relationship which can still sustain life after loss. When relationships are important, grief and loss are a process of dealing with the depths of love and attachment which are key to being human.