Grief and Loss Counseling in Hermosa Beach, CA.

It is not a coincidence that losing a loved one feels like losing part of ourselves: I believe that is exactly what is happening. The people (or animals) that are closest to us help to make us the people we are. Whether through the end of a relationship, death, or moving away, the loss of someone dear to us presents a profound shift in our own life story, like a sudden storm on a calm sea. How do we navigate that? Do we sail on? Change direction? How do we even know where to begin?

Loss and grief are natural occurrences in life. However, they can be major intrusions in the quality of our life if we are too caught up in them. They can also interfere if we are so defended against them that they limit our ability to function or impair our daily interactions with others. Sometimes, what we have lost is not a person but a job or a situation in our life that has had great meaning for us, like our self-image. That can feel devastating. Just like losing a person, these events must be grieved if we are to be able to move on. Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting or being weak. It’s a sign of love and strength. Together, we can work through the grief so you can move on.

In treating grief and loss, it is essential to facilitate a safe, respectful therapeutic interaction, in which clients are able to tell their story, process and express their feelings of grief, explore the meaning of their loss, and revise their relationship with the deceased. Additionally, using cognitive and behavioral therapy techniques enable people to develop skills for coping with the anxiety, depression, and difficult emotions that may arise as a result of the grieving process.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Losing a person, relationship or beloved companion animal can leave you feeling alone, lost and scared. I can help you give voice to your emotions and begin to integrate the grief into your life in a healthy way. It's normal to grieve deeply when we love deeply. Honoring those feelings is an important part of walking the path of healing. Therapy offers those experiencing the tidal wave of emotions that are often present after a loss the opportunity to process the past, present and future in a safe, non-judgmental environment. I work together to process the loss, discuss stages of grief & begin working towards deeper healing & acceptance. We never fully "get over" the losses in our lives, but we learn how to accept them & move towards a healthier view of...(view profile to read more)

We all will inevitably experience loss- i.e., the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, possibly significant life transitions. Grief and loss work focuses on developing effective and healthy coping mechanisms while moving through often challenging emotional states. Often individuals utilize maladaptive coping strategies, such as substances, alcohol and/or food to help minimize painful feelings. My philosophy is that while there are identifiable stages of grief and loss, they are not experienced sequentially. Navigating often confusing and competing emotions is necessary to ultimately heal.

Losing a baby is the hardest challenge that any parent can face. There are no words to describe the grief and pain that follow. It is a loss that cannot be measured. Parents can feel utterly alone, wondering if they can survive as relatives and friends are encouraging them to move on. Anger can mount in trying to understand why. Grief and loss take time to heal. I work with fathers who have lost a baby, had a stillbirth, termination, or lost a baby in neonatal care. Take the time to reach out for help. This is a difficult journey that takes time and is slow. The death of a baby is hard for many to understand. I encourage you to care for yourself and reach out for help.

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

Grief is a normal reaction to any type of loss. The therapeutic objective is to help bereaved individuals recover from the emotional pain caused by the loss. Therapy goals consist of: recovery from the loss to help the client feel better, choosing a healthier approach to grieving, finding new meaning for living, reducing fears and unhealthy ways for dealing with the loss, and having the ability to enjoy memories and connecting to the deceased rather than resorting to isolation/depression. My therapeutic approach consists of educating about the stages of loss, working on issues complicating the grief process, validating emotions and teaching better coping mechanisms to handle the loss.

Losing a loved one is extremely difficult and takes time to grieve. Loss can bring up intense feelings that cause problems in our lives, and sometimes paralyzes growth. There are also other types of losses that have a negative impact on us, and get in the way of personal progress. The goal of grief work is not to “get over it”, but rather to learn to live with the loss, finding a “new normal”.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.