Grief and Loss Counseling in Sebastopol, CA.

Human beings have the innate ability to heal themselves from the pain of grief and loss through the process of emotional discharge, which is the ability to laugh, cry, and express righteous indignation. This discharging of deep feelings, when done in a safe & supportive environment, is the bridge to healing. Because it is often not acceptable to express our deepest feelings, we learn to suppress or overlook them. It is one thing to talk about how we feel, but it is another to actually feel those feelings. To have a safe place to express deep feelings is what makes grief & loss work both profound and deeply healing.

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

In our culture, we put a time cap on how long someone is allowed to grieve. We aren't taught how to grieve. Grief is not linear. It moves in circles, overtaking us and then receding, as we slowly heal. I have experienced much loss in my life and I draw on my experiences to help others grieve exactly as they need to, in their own way.

My approach to grief and loss is compassionate, supportive, and deeply individualized and personal. I provide a safe space to process the many emotions that accompany loss while assisting clients in adjusting to change as well as rediscovering a sense of identity. Together we will find meaningful ways to move forward without one feeling like they are leaving the person or the life behind that feels lost.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.