Grief and Loss Counseling in Signal Hill, CA.

Grief and loss can occur at any time in many ways during a person's life. It can be an actual death, illness, a loss of relationship or even a loss of a career or job, an identity. While normal and a part of life, they are often met with indifference and ignorance, sometimes fear. Thru the process of therapy grief and loss can be explored and understood, it can be a shared experience where there is value and acceptance.

Are you grieving or experiencing a loss? Do you feel like the sadness will never let up? Most people associate grief with the death of a loved one. However, any loss can cause grief. The loss of: relationships, health, jobs or a goal. Experiencing a loss may result in many difficult & surprising emotions; shock, anger, even guilt. Together we’ll resolve your grief & lessen the painful emotions you’re experiencing; accepting them as part of the grieving process & developing some healthy, productive ways to cope with your sadness. Everyone grieves differently. There’s no order or timetable for grief. In session I’ll help you find the best way to resolve your grief & heal from your loss.

I have worked with victims of trauma and abuse for over 15 years. I have been trained on many different methods to helping a client through their trauma so that they can begin living without PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) symptoms. Many people come to therapy because of the nightmares, trouble sleeping, having flashbacks, and having intimacy issues because they cannot let their guard down. For 10 years I worked using strictly a “person centered” approach to therapy. That means that I would let the survivor tell their story in their own way and not really guide them much. My main job was to make sure they felt safe and figured out ways to be safe. This process took a very long time, but it ....

I address grief and loss issues with understanding, validation, and empathy. My deep respect for the fact that it takes time to sufficiently mourn and grieve the loss of what once was is key in working with clients who experience grief and loss. We are all unique, and we grieve in ways that may look different than other's ways. There is no wrong way to experience loss! I model compassion and patience, hoping that in time my clients can experience self-compassion and allow themselves to feel the depths of their feelings without excess shame or self-judgment. I believe that social and cultural factors may also play a role in our grieving process, so I explore those factors in therapy as well.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

When someone is grieving, it is sometimes difficult to know what to say. People feel awkward and often are reduced to well-meaning platitudes. There is no magic wand to take away the feelings experienced in grief but having a place of safety and honesty can be an important step on the road to restoration. Being able to talk, weep, get angry and feel the feelings is often present in the early stages. The purpose of grief work is not about forgetting remembering with love in spite of the wounds it leaves behind.

Create a safe space where you get to talk about your loss openly: no limitations, no having to censor yourself, no “can they handle this?” Learn tools to cope with the big, uncontrollable feelings you’re experiencing Learn to ask for needs from your support system when grieving. Honor and reflect on those who you have lost. Carry on the relationship with the person inside of you. Gain an understanding that you’re not crazy! What you feel is normal & grief is universal Build skills to turn towards your grief rather than away, so you can be present to the life unfolding in front of you without losing connection to your loved one

Loss is an extremely difficult, yet natural part of life. Grief can feel very dark and all consuming. In the midst of this process, one might find themselves at a loss of where to turn. I provide a safe space for all feelings that arise, gently work with people towards acceptance, and help find ways to keep memories alive. A loss does not have to mean an ending.

In treating grief and loss, it is essential to facilitate a safe, respectful therapeutic interaction, in which clients are able to tell their story, process and express their feelings of grief, explore the meaning of their loss, and revise their relationship with the deceased. Additionally, using cognitive and behavioral therapy techniques enable people to develop skills for coping with the anxiety, depression, and difficult emotions that may arise as a result of the grieving process.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

When a loved one has passed away going thru the bereavement stage can be overwhelming. There are five stages of grief and counseling can assist individuals by having a safe space to remember that loved and help client return to their previous level of healthy functioning. The giving process is different for every individual and the treatment goals will be individualized for that specific client.

The loss of a loved one is never easy to cope with, neither is the loss of intimate relationships, separations or life changes that cause us to experience grief. Remember, your grief/loss process is unique to you. Give yourself the opportunity to share your feelings in a safe environment, where no one is pushing you to "move on" or "get over it."