Anger Management and Counseling in Ridgefield, NJ.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Clients can explore and resolve past experiences which may be contributing to an amplification of negative feelings in trigger situations causing tension and distressing emotions and body sensations. Resolving underlying emotional issues related to present anger can help to be able to safely express anger that a client may not have been able to get in touch with before.

Anger is a universal emotion. Anger that results in aggressive behaviors, acting out, or is interfering with living a healthy lifestyle is problematic. I will help you learn techniques to manage your angry feelings by working with you in identifying and modifying the thoughts you have that lead to angry behavior. As a result, you will learn healthier ways of coping with the triggers of your anger, and experience healthier ways of being .

We all get angry at times in our life, and there are times when anger is a useful signal that tells us something needs to change or that something is wrong. But there are also times where anger can begin to dominate our thoughts and actions, causing problems at work and in our relationships. My goal as a therapist is to help you talk though your concerns and issues so that I can give you the tools to help you overcome sources of non-productive anger. When you're tired of being angry and ready to move on, let's talk.

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

Anger is an emotion that is strong. Its an emotion expressing that something is not ok. Anger presents its face to necessarily express that you are not ok and/or something is not ok, and change needs to happen. This emotion is valuable. However, there are effective ways of expressing anger; ways which empowers one to make positive change and there are less-than-helpful ways of expressing anger; bringing one farther and farther away from our goal. It is my mission to help you work on your anger to strengthen you in effectively creating a more wholesome, healthy way of interacting with the universe, improving your relationship skills and allowing life to unfold in a safer,smoother fashion.

The benefit of my approach is that instead of getting angry you will learn how to think and react creatively so you are better able to find a way to prevail in the long run. People and life will sometimes do you in and obstruct you. However, you are rarely at your best when angry. It is your beliefs that lead to your self-defeating feelings of anger. I show how an angry response leads you to have far less leverage than if you felt healthy negative feelings like great annoyance, frustration, displeasure and disappointment. I teach you how to think about injustice, interference, and insult so that you stay in control of your reactions in order to creatively respond and ultimately prevail!

My main approach is to help my client identify situations (contexts), people, behaviors (his and others) that seem to usher in varying degrees of anger. My main message is that anger is an appropriate feeling to loss and frustration, but it is his learning to appropriately express anger in an adaptive manner that leads to emotional growth and the mollification of the anger itself.

Anger tends to get labelled negatively in our culture, often being described as a "negative emotion", or seen as something dangerous or to be denied. Yet the truth is, like all emotions, anger plays a vital role in our psychological system. It serves as a warning that something important to us feels threatened. It can motivate us to take action to correct something negative that is happening. Prevalent negative attitudes about anger contribute to many people getting insufficient practice in identifying and communicating about anger effectively. At my Pleasantville office I provide individual, family and couples counseling for issues related to anger management in adults and children.

Sometimes anger is a response to feeling misunderstood: you cannot believe that the other person does not see what is evident to you. At other times, anger is an expression of frustration because you cannot attain a goal or you are prevented (by others or by life situations) from reaching a desired landmark in your life. As a therapist, I will help you understand what is fueling your anger, and once you get a better sense of this, you will be able use emotional energy to deal with the underlying personal frustration instead of wasting it in staying angry.