Anger Management and Counseling in West New York, NJ.

Anger is a natural and normal use of emotion that helps you get in touch with that which you are feeling. The problem is that most people don't express their anger and let it build up. Then they express themselves through rages, screaming and just being out of control. Relationships become compromised and resentment and bitterness grows. To stop the pattern, you need to first learn to relax your mind and body. Second, you need to identify what is making you angry. Third, role play expressing your feelings in a positive manner. Fourth, learn to listen other's responses to your statements. Fifth, negotiate with calm to resolve the situation. Relax, think, before you respond.

My main approach is to help my client identify situations (contexts), people, behaviors (his and others) that seem to usher in varying degrees of anger. My main message is that anger is an appropriate feeling to loss and frustration, but it is his learning to appropriately express anger in an adaptive manner that leads to emotional growth and the mollification of the anger itself.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

What if you didn't have an anger problem? Are you holding back and constantly giving? You do this so much that you finally can't take it anymore and you explode. If that described you I can help. Too often people think that their anger is out of control when it isn't true. What is happening is you hold back on small irritations until it builds up. I can show you how to recognize this and stop before you explode.

I believe children must first want to learn and perfect anger management. I have developed techniques to motivate the child or teen to develop a value system of respectful behavior toward others. Once this is achieved anger management skills can easily be obtained. Without a change in attitude and values, anger management training will fail because the child lacks the motivation to practice such techniques.

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

Anger isn't the problem. It's what's underneath it that we need to look at. Most people who struggle with anger aren't out of control, they're overwhelmed, and often carrying a lot more than they realize. Using CBT, EMDR, and emotional regulation techniques, I help clients identify what's actually triggering their reactions, shift the thought patterns fueling them, and develop healthier ways to express what they're feeling. We'll also look at how anger is showing up in your relationships, because that's usually where it does the most damage. The goal isn't to stop feeling angry. It's to stop letting it run the show.

Skills building interventions have been extremely successful in decreasing the negative effects of anger. At ART, clients learn to identify, develop and apply effective skills that reduce anger immediately!! It's not enough to TALK about what to do, but to PRACTICE the skills while in session. This way, you'll know exactly how to handle a situagtion that triggers anger. Protect your life and relationships! Learn how to use anger to your advantage.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.