Family therapy services in 94087: Sunnyvale, CA. Relationship and couples counseling.

Whether you are a new family dealing with marital issues and toddlerhood, or a blended family with teens, or a middle-aged child of an aging parent, you have the need for tools and understanding of the dynamics you are dealing with. We offer couples and families empathic support that helps sort out the conflicts and needs of each member of the family. Sometimes it may seem that one family member is the problem. What we find oftentimes, is that each one has a part to play. Simply having a skilled facilitator helps bring the difficulties into a new light of understanding. We use Non-violent Communication, art therapies, and somatic methods to support healing and resolution

Counseling for children and teens, is primarily accomplished within the context of family therapy, where mom, dad, siblings or others may be involved in various sessions. Families today find themselves facing issues that in past generations were nearly non-existent. With the divorce rate still raging at 50% for first marriages, and 70-80% for subsequent marriages, the American family unit is struggling. Divorce Recovery, Blending Families with step-parents and step-siblings of all sorts, Parenting Issues, and School Issues for the children, are just a few Family Therapy concerns. The goal here is to strengthen the family unit with bonding and security. See my webpage on Therapy/Family

As a family therapist, trained in the modality of family systems, I work with the entire family and sometimes will see individual members, couples, the children, the teens and then bring all family members back together for joint sessions, depending on what will serve all the most at any given times. Often times families need to regain the trust and remember their love for one another which can be achieved through family sessions in which every one has a chance to speak honestly, respectfully and to be truly heard in a safe and comfortable environment with the help of a skilled therapist.

Family life if complicated. Not only do we bring our own baggage to the relationship but all of the other family members bring theirs too. Many of the issues that come up are communications issues and many are due to our nervous systems being either on hyper alert or shut down from past traumas and an overaccumulation of daily strresses. Working as a team we build on the strengths of the couple/family and we also tease apart the less functional areas to understand them more fully. Then we devise a plan for working with the issues. That might involve working as a couple/family or it might involve individual session to resolve whatever issues we each bring into our relationships.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Family counseling is designed to strengthen the bonds within the relationship. Many times families will be struggling with day-to-day living (small problems will start to add up to larger problems). We tend to fall into ruts of the way we do things and sometimes that creates resentments and conflict that are not communicated in a way that helps others within the family to understand your concerns. By bringing everyone together. we can work on communication, division of labor, finances, and other issues that may be making home life not the sanctuary that we all want our homes to be.

Parent-Child therapy focuses on bringing awareness, attunement, and empathy into the family system. As a mother I know it can seem as if problems at home are because of one individual, but this is never the case. We are all part of a greater system. The goal of family systems therapy is to create a peaceful and harmonious space where everyone in the system can feel heard and understood. In addition to working towards creating more space for loving each other and less time for unproductive conflict, I also provide psychoeducation and practical parenting tools for lasting and dynamic change.

Our family lives can be tremendously gratifying and enriching and a source of invaluable support and belonging. They can also become tense and chaotic at times, especially when under the influences of acute or chronic stress. Such responses are understandable, but you may need the support and guidance of a skilled therapist from time to time, especially if you are experiencing persistent conflicts that you cannot resolve or mediate on your own. Psychotherapy can help you relate to your family with more ease or resolve even long-standing problems. If you wish to explore how I could help with your particular situation, please call me at 415-533-9724. I would be happy to talk with you.

By the time a parent is considering counseling for their child, they may have experienced a variety of emotions ranging from: sadness, fear, shame or anger. It can be very helpful to have a neutral professional to help teach the young person and their families how to learn different ways to think, behave, and communicate. Psychotherapy can help children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of ways – getting emotional support, resolving conflicts between family members, and trying out new solutions to old problems. 


I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

I particularly enjoy working with pairs within a family system—a mother and daughter for instance or siblings. Family members who are longing to be closer to each other and having trouble doing it, or wanting to better communicate. This isn't about trying to fix another person or convince them of our views. In therapy, getting to deeper levels of empathy and understanding with the people closest to us can solve a lot of issues on its own, building respect and tolerance for differences, and a gratifying sense of connection. It takes courage, effort, and the willingness to lay down our swords and shields, but it is worth it.

We need our families. If your family is in danger of disconnecting or falling apart, let's work together to lean toward each other instead of away. No one family member is ever the cause of disfunction. We each must learn our responsibility in the mix. My approach to healing families is to help each member understand how they absorb stress, and explain it to the group in a way that will be heard. Our family is our home base. Let's keep it that way by learning empathy for each other's struggles.

The most frequent family issues I see are problems with parenting (agreeing on limits/ consequences, either parent feeling supported by the other), difficulty with issues of adolescence (self-injury, eating disorder, suicidality, substance abuse, abusive relationships, bullying), and arguing/ yelling at one another. Any of these issues are difficult to handle; often times they occur as a bundle of issues. This can feel overwhelming to both parent and child. The whole system suffers and feelings of fear, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and resentment are free-floating with no useful direction. We will find strategies that work for your family so that you enjoy one another again.