Anger Management and Counselling in Colwood, BC.

We are all born with a full set of emotions, with anger being just one of many (happy, sad, fear etc.etc.). There is nothing inherently wrong with anger. In fact it is a very useful barometer of what is not good for us. However, constant, raging anger is a sign post that something is out of balance and needs our attention. There is also a big difference between feeling anger and committing destructive acts. The work that you and I do for anger issues will begin with honouring your feelings. We will then explore what is underneath the chronic feelings of anger. You will discover more life-enhancing ways to take your space and express your self. You will feel more free.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive-aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Anger and violence are wildly misunderstood issues. I believe that it is important to explore the context in which the anger or violence occurs. For example, does it happen at home, or at work, or in public? Who is impacted by the anger or violence? How do the individuals who are impacted resist and respond to the anger/violence? Through counselling we will explore the context of the interactions. Once we understand the context (who is doing what to who?) I will respectfully invite responsibility taking and strategies for more helpful communication and responses.