Anger Management and Counselling in Victoria, BC.

Anger is a natural human response and perhaps the most misunderstood emotion. It can both serve and protect us - but left unchecked, it can lead to serious problems – damaging relationships, jeopardizing careers, and leaving us feeling out of control. Many of us were never taught what to do with anger, aside from bottling it up or acting it out. But there is another way. In my work, I help people to develop insight into the roots of their relationship with anger, and learn skills to authentically express it. Anger is often compared with fire, and as the saying goes, ‘fire is a good servant but a bad master.’ Together, we can work toward getting the fire under control.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Dr. Sloat's approach to Anger Management is twofold. She provides tools and strategies for use when you are actually in the throes of anger. And, she helps you look at the big picture as well. The best way to manage your anger is to have nothing to be angry about. Dr. Sloat's therapeutic methods help you get at the source of your anger so that you can better manage it.

Isn't it interesting how anger can motivate us and make us stuck all at the same time? Study the anatomy of anger in order to learn how to control it and use it in healthy ways. Anger is not "bad"; it is an essential emotion. Learn how to choose what to do with your anger in order to let it do it's job and then be let go. Explore what also masquerades as anger!

Anger, like other emotions, helps us to respond to our experiences and to meet our needs. However, we can get into trouble in our relationships and with the law if we express our anger inappropriately. Anger may be used to control others by frightening them. Anger can be destructive and can make us physically unwell. In anger management counseling we will try to identify the triggers to your anger and I will coach you in methods of appropriate anger release. To understand the pattern of your anger and where your anger comes from we will look at the story of your life from your earliest memory. With better control of your reactions when you are upset you will be much happier and healthier.

Anger is a normal, natural response to perceived threats. Learning to manage our anger can be difficult at times. You will want to seek help with your anger if it seems uncontrollable, causes hurt or regret, or is impacting your relationships. Working together, we can collaboratively explore what your anger looks like, what triggers you and the signs that your anger is building. We can learn how to work with your frustration and anger in healthy ways.

I am honoured that you are interested in my services and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been described as slightly non-conventional in the counselling world, which suits me perfectly, and also tends to suit youth who are trying to stand up to the force of the problems in their life. I am very comfortable working with this population, and I feel fortunate that I can connect with teens the way I do, conventionally or in a way that makes sense to them.

Anger management begins with understanding the factors that contribute to anger, including stress, past experiences, patterns of thinking, and emotional triggers. Depending on what is driving the reactivity, I may use a trauma-informed focus or cognitive behavioural strategies. A key early step is mindful awareness of body cues and emotions, helping clients notice anger rising before it takes over. From there, we build skills to pause, reduce escalation, and calm the nervous system, so responses become more deliberate and aligned with their values.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

Therapy with me offers a safe, supportive space to understand and manage anger. We'll explore your triggers, build healthy coping tools, and uncover what's beneath the surface. You'll learn to express yourself clearly without losing control, strengthen relationships, and feel more grounded and in control of your emotions.

The more you feel out of control in your life, the more likely you are to feel angry. Unless you can identify and share your sense of powerlessness. This often takes a retraining of values but leads to personal empowerment once you learn that you can have "power with" rather than "power over" another person. There are a number of techniques to promote postiive changes fairly quickly including the recognition of one's negative self-talk and replacing it with self-soothing inside,

Anger can feel like a sudden and overwhelming force within us or it can be experienced as a persistent, festering feeling that never seems to go away. Often anger is an indication of unmet needs that can stem from as far back as early childhood. I provide a space to explore these hidden emotions and needs within and offer practical tools and strategies for managing anger productively.

Anger is an emotion that can be necessary to protect yourself in life threatening situations or when being treated in hurtful and harmful ways. Yet other times, underlying emotions or misunderstandings may be causing your anger. Your emotions are natural and normal, but you may be acting on them or acting out because of them. In these times, anger can be destructive and alienate you from significant people and life opportunities that you desire. Learning about anger, developing strategies to manage anger and exploring the other emotions and causes of your anger, are ways that we can work together to manage anger.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Although anger is a very natural human experience, what you do with it and how you channel that anger is what matters. Emotional regulation techniques are a forte of mine, and so much of it is learned behaviour from childhood experiences; learned behaviour from caregivers in your life and/or not providing the teaching skills required to manage angry emotions healthily. We will uncover this through therapeutic sessions.