Great Couples Counseling in Soquel, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples often come to counseling when they are on the verge of breaking up. I hope that you will find the way to counseling before you reach this point so that we can find better ways to look at and change old patterns that seem to have you stuck. And even if both agree it is time to separate, counselimf can be helpful to find healthier ways in the process so that we don't have to recreate old, dysfunctional patterns in our next relationships. I invite both partners to utilize the safety of the therapeutic set-up to look at the deeper underlying issues that have brought you to this point in your current relationship

Do you think that you are doomed for your relationship to stay the same because your partner refuses to come to therapy? My specialty with couples counseling is to work individually with the partner that is willing to come in to counseling and work to make things better. Change and positive progress can still happen when one person makes changes, sets boundaries and clearly understands and is able to respectfully assert their wants and needs. I assist individuals in my office with a plan they can work on at home with their partner so they can have the relationship they desire.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Couples may they be in a dating relationship, living together, engaged to marry, married, in business together, separating, divorcing, fighting over children, property, alimony or visitation, are often confronted with a breakdown in communication and an inability to resolve conflicts. Couple counseling aims to reveal the disconnect within a couple that often once had the ability to connect and function in harmony. Couples can quickly get off track with one another and need skilled guidance to help them learn to resolve conflicts, once again listen and communicate effectively as well as to be able to disagree without forcing the relationship to end.

I help all couples, including LGBTQ couples, work on their relationships. Many couples find they develop difficulty with emotional and physical intimacy, communication during the course of their relationship. Some couples want to explore polyamory, while others require a kink-aware therapist. I can provide counseling and support around all of those issues in a positive, supportive and nonjudgemental environment.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

A healthy couple’s relationship emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. If you find yourself in a difficult cycle of hurtful interactions, I can help you get to this heart-full and constructive place. It is very useful to slow things down in a session, discovering the moments in interaction, verbal or non-verbal, that trigger an automatic reaction in the other. I may find a key phrase or a movement that we will re-enact in mindfulness to study the effect on each partner. Bringing awareness to these often unconscious triggers and responses helps you get to what is needed for yourself and the other.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I provide therapy for couples who are married, who are engaged to be married and for those who are dating or cohabiting. A relationship personality profile is provided to all couples, followed by sessions on communication, intimacy/connectedness, trust. These sessions are always personalized to the couple's issues. I offer a "Tools for the Marriage Toolbox" package for pre-marital couples that can be done in two sessions; a valuable wedding gift to each other!

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

I specialize in working with couples and trauma. I help my clients encounter themselves and reach for growth. Both for themselves and for those they love. I help people searching for peace, connection, and wholeness. And because no single approach is right for everyone, I have training in a range of approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Couples often find that their hopes and expectations for finding that special person who will "make them happy" are unrealistic and a burden to an otherwise very successful relationship. I find that when you learn to listen to your partner and appreciate who they are, and risk telling them who you are and how you feel, your love will be on solid ground. I will help you focus on what you need to feel loving and loveable, and to share that with your partner.

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

If you are a couple, whether married or not, it is important to keep your relationship happy and healthy. I have experience with many different couples, and if it is one thing that I have learned, it is that each couple is 'unique'. I listen to my couple clients very carefully, so that I can get an idea who they are and what they want before making any treatment decisions. Clients are the expert on their lives; I am the expert on relationships. Together we make therapy work.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.