Great Couples Counseling in Westmont, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

Do you envision a loving, respectful relationship with your partner? Would you like to strengthen your bond & gain a better understanding of your spouse? Are you interested in avoiding divorce & keeping your family together? I have some ways to help. In session I help couples improve communication, so that each person in the relationship feels heard, & solutions are fair & effective. I help you understand & respect your partner’s perspective & develop ways to compromise, to improve your relationship, without compromising your personal values. I also teach couples ways to discuss issues without arguments, establish fair rules and boundaries, & make your relationship rewarding and fun.

Couple relationships are the source of our greatest joy, fulfillment, frustration, fear, and hopes. When they go well, there is nothing better. When the go wrong they are the source of intense emotional pain. Did you know that there is significant, reliable research that informs what builds and what can unravel even the most loving relationships? We have this knowledge and can share it with you in a safe, caring, and confidential environment. It is possible to make your good relationship great and your hurting relationship whole again.

I believe that good relationships are built on secure attachments, ones that are engaged and emotionally responsive to one another. In my experience working with couples, and research supports this idea as well, a combination of strategies that teach them to be more accepting of each other while at the same time working to change some of their assumptions and automatic behaviors are at the root of change. I see this in my private practice with partners attacking, often forgetting what brought them together in the first place; I guide them back into each other's arms, and back into a safety zone with a combination of attachment and communication techniques that have shown to be effective.

Therapy offers a supportive environment where you can communicate in a safe way... learn to calm down, listen and validate the other person... become more aware of each other's over-reactions and vulnerabilities... understand each other's needs... clarify commonalities and differences in your relationship goals... negotiate, accept and move on to a better emotional state. By understanding and empathizing with both of you, I can provide you with insights, exercises and concrete skills to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship... or find the courage to end what cannot be repaired.

Is this you? All we do is fight! It seems like we never hear each other and neither of us listens anymore! It is so frustrating I do not want to come home and try. I have been successfully helping couples to develop the tools necessary to communicate effectively for more than 20 years. Having disagreements is not unusual. Learning how to resolve disagreements is a key element to healthy relationships. Conflict resolution is about learning to fight fairly by listening in an atmosphere of Respect, Trust, Safety and love and not placing my desire to be right over the relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples counseling will provide the opportunity for couples to focus on their marriage by doing deeper work in a safe and confidential setting. Couples will explore and understand effective communication, love styles and form a deeper connection and intimacy. Couples counseling is available for any two people in a committed relationship. It is a great investment in any meaningful relationship!

When working with couples, I focus both on specific issues you come to therapy to address as well as the root cause of those issues. Issues contributing to distress among couples can include their family of origin, outside stressors, or past relationships. These issues (among others) can often cause marital distress, causing people to feel like their partner is living in a different reality than them. I work with couples to explore the root of the issues you face in order to increase fulfillment and joy in your relationship.

It is common for partners to trigger each other- often times without even knowing it. This mutual triggering can quickly lead to escalation, blaming, frequent fighting, and emotional distancing. We help couples go deeper than the day to day symptoms of constant bickering or love-hate cycling, so they can get to the underlying wounds (often there before they even met). This clears up emotional space, allowing each partner to fully connect to the other as they rekindle their passion and joy again. You can learn more about us at www.HealPlayLove.org

All relationships take work and effort, however that doesn't mean a relationship should only feel like work. Having different likes, viewpoints and drives doesn't necessarily equal incompatibility. Communication and conflict resolution skills are key to a successful relationship. In my work with couples, I engage with each partner as a unique person, however the relationship as a whole is my priority.

Many couples present in distress with a strong desire to enhance their relationships. I like to work with communication styles as well as explore some old patterns of relating that may have their history in early childhood experiences with their own families. Being able to identify these old patterns of relating to a significant other can help couples to understand why they bring these old patterns into their current relationship. After these patterns are identified, new ways of relating and communicating are explored and practiced. Listening skills and acceptance are important areas of exploration throughout therapy as well. Couples find new & satisfying ways of relating with each other.

I specialize in Couples Therapy at the Narrative Couples Center. I help partners to achieve new stories for the future. My approach is strength-based. It explores what couples hold most precious in their lives and relationships and brings people closer to their hopes and preferences. My counseling offers tools and collaboration to help each member of a relationship to move towards shared understanding.

I have worked with hundred's of couples over the last 20 years. Each couple is unique in their own right which means there is no one way to "fix" a problem. Our deepest longings and hopes emerge in a couples relationship. Oftentimes we are working out unmet needs and hopes carried forward from our early family relationships to our present couple relationship. Problems become increasingly complex and difficult to overcome when we don't know what these issues are all about. Couples remain stuck in conflict not because of what they know, but what they don't know or can't recognize. The work in therapy is to help couples recognize unhealthy patterns of relating and introduce novelty.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Working with couples is a joy for me! I have a high success rate: approximately 90%. I help men and women make the transition from being single to being a unit, helping them learn to work together as a team. My primary aim is to make my clients feel at ease. I truly care about them and help them explore the underlying concerns and move forward to achieve the best possible results.

Research shows that couples come to therapy an average of 6 YEARS later than when the problems started; accordingly, they can be very hostile at the beginning of treatment. I work with highly conflict couples to reduce the reactivity through making them aware of the meaning they make of their partner's behavior in relationship. I also do discernment counseling for couples who are undecided if they want to stay in their marriage; pre-marital counseling for couples who are considering the important step of marriage; blended family couples counseling for couples who are coming together with children from previous relationships; and coaching to help divorcing couples to uncouple amicably.

Is your perception of your partner one that brings you calmness and strength, or agitation and fear? I help couples to remember their forgotten longing. As partners, we need to be responsible for the type of energy we bring into the relationship. Through counseling, I help couples change their emotional negativity, in whatever form it takes, by focusing on extreme compassion for your partner's issues. Catch your relationship before it feels beyond fixable.