Great Couples Counseling in Westmont, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

In couples counseling we will explore the strengths each of you brings to your relationship and how these contribute to the overall health of your relationship together. We will work to understand your contributions and barriers to making your relationship work. The focus will remain on your goals for the relationship with the understanding that these may change as we learn more about each parties level of contribution. I encourage honesty between both parties. You will be encouraged to speak directly with one another to work toward strengthening your communication skills by clarifying the meaning and quality of the words you choose when speaking with your partner.

Are you questioning whether to remain invested in your current relationship? Would you like to learn ways in which to strengthen your existing relationship? Learn effective ways of communicating with your partner that can help bridge the gap of misunderstandings, focus on strengths and identify tools that are already building on your commitment to one another.

Many couples present in distress with a strong desire to enhance their relationships. I like to work with communication styles as well as explore some old patterns of relating that may have their history in early childhood experiences with their own families. Being able to identify these old patterns of relating to a significant other can help couples to understand why they bring these old patterns into their current relationship. After these patterns are identified, new ways of relating and communicating are explored and practiced. Listening skills and acceptance are important areas of exploration throughout therapy as well. Couples find new & satisfying ways of relating with each other.

Research shows that couples come to therapy an average of 6 YEARS later than when the problems started; accordingly, they can be very hostile at the beginning of treatment. I work with highly conflict couples to reduce the reactivity through making them aware of the meaning they make of their partner's behavior in relationship. I also do discernment counseling for couples who are undecided if they want to stay in their marriage; pre-marital counseling for couples who are considering the important step of marriage; blended family couples counseling for couples who are coming together with children from previous relationships; and coaching to help divorcing couples to uncouple amicably.

All relationships take work and effort, however that doesn't mean a relationship should only feel like work. Having different likes, viewpoints and drives doesn't necessarily equal incompatibility. Communication and conflict resolution skills are key to a successful relationship. In my work with couples, I engage with each partner as a unique person, however the relationship as a whole is my priority.

Over the years, the couples change. The spark, the feeling you have around each other--it changes. Every couple is different, but simply put, I help couples experience more connection and meaning in their relationships. Together with your partner I will help you navigate conflict, communicate in a deeper way, build connection (emotionally, spiritually, and sexually). I work with the couples ranging from never having been in therapist's office to couples who have "done couples therapy before", wherever you find yourselves--I'm here to help. Contact me today and let's see how we can get you and your relationship to a better place.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

How do you rate your partner? Do you just KNOW your relationship could be better? With Kevin Bergen, you'll find a specialist who can get you over your hurdles to relationship bliss. Are you tired of arguing? Is trust a problem now? Has one of you checked out of the relationship? Feeling alone or more like roommates? Kevin understands what you're feeling. He understands each of you equally, he'll affirm you when your partner is off track, and kick your butt when it's you who's out of line. If you want understanding and honesty, call Kevin for your couple's needs.

When couples wish to work through their relationship difficulties, or do premarital couples therapy, they will find my office to be a safe, nonjudmental, and encouraging space. You will colaborate with your spouse, and prioritize issues you'd like to discuss. You will explore your own ability for acceptance and tolerance of your spouse's behavior. We will work together on communication skills, and styles, we'll try to soften the dialogue. We'll learn about problem solving skills with which husband and wife are heard. If there are sexual problems, I have experience in treating sex addiction, internet pornography addiction, and the affect of extended families on your relationship.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

The main thing I notice couples coming in for is to work on trust issues, communication problems, and lack of intimacy within the relationship. This can manifest into anger, affairs, shutting down, and a number of other behaviors. I work with couples FIRST on what does work, so that they can build upon skills they already possess within their relationship. 2: Teaching basic listening skills so that partners feel heard. 3: Teaching the couples how to communicate without attacking. 4: implementing those skills at home. Therapy is much more complex than this, and there are many more aspects of communication, but building strengths is very important to relationship success.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php