Great Couples Counseling in Pelham, NY. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationship can bring great joy as well and great challenges. Many problems stem from difficulty communicating with your partner. I can assist you in finding the way to express yourself, as well as the capacity to listen; to find the appropriate boundaries that enable you to feel free while staying connected. Working through conflicts in relationships often not only preserves the relationship, but also empowers each individual to be more confident and open in their own life.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

Combining the knowledge and wisdom of forty years of studies and clinical practice, Gottman Method Couples Therapy helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy in their relationships. Through research-based interventions and exercises, it is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based therapy. Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s study of more than 4,000 couples. This research shows what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Gottman Method Couples Therapy was developed out of this research to help partners: Increase: respect, affection, closeness, & break through.

You know relationships are meant to offer love and care...Yet your connections are rimmed with insecurity, worry, doubt and a feeling of instability. You're not sure if there's something about way you interact in relationships or if it's related to the people you're around. Research proves that the biggest predictor of a happy, long life is the quality of relationships you're in. You're ready to clear the fog, and build solid connections.

Couples, married or not, seek therapy for many reasons; including hoping to resolve differences, hoping to improve communication, and/or hoping to improve their intimate relationship. My work with couples, enhanced by my training in sex therapy, addresses these issues so as to help the individuals within the relationship more effectively express themselves and more effectively understand their partner, and so as to promote the overall strength and joy in the relationship itself.

I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life. Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life.

Marriage or couple relationships are a tug of war for power and control. When the leverage of the couple becomes one sided: disappointment, fears, worries and anger become predominant emotions. At this point, you may think about leaving because you can't understand your conflicted feelings. Remember, " You can't run away from yourself". It is essential to know your contribution to the dysfunction in the relationship. When you can face your feelings and behaviors patterns and take responsibility for your actions leaving the "blame" behind, the couple begins the repair process enabling respectful listening and communicating leading to healing feelings and setting the stage for intimacy.

I use the Gottman Method of couples counseling for couples, whether you're partners or married, this approach has been backed by 40 years of research to be successful. It includes an extensive intake process since each couple is unique, a feedback session, and from there specified exercises and tools to target the areas of your relationship that can be improved.

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. You both trusted and enjoyed each other's company. You felt understood and accepted for being yourself. In couple's counseling, Hal offers you the opportunity to find the hidden strengths in the heart and soul of your relationship. Hal has helped hundreds of couples to improve communication and increase trust. Hal is very well respected and experienced in couple's counseling. In addition, he is a published author and was invited to appear on David Letterman's Late Night television program. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available on evenings and weekends. Call Hal at (516) 439-4282

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

Whether your relationship is suffering the devastation of betrayal or the emptiness of disconnection, I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for your relationship to land and connect. Specializing in relational and sexual betrayal trauma, my approach is tailored to help couples restore safety and deepen intimacy, whether or not betrayal is part of your story. Working with couples, I listen to the content of what comes in while looking for patterns of unmet needs beneath it. You'll learn tools for respectful communication, leaving you and your partner better able to feel heard, stay connected, and let hurts go. Together, we'll help you build intimacy, authenticity, and relational resiliency.

My approach to couples therapy draws from both the Gottman Method and Imago Relationship Therapy. The Gottman Method helps us identify damaging patterns, improve communication, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Imago goes deeper, helping you and your partner understand how your individual histories are showing up in your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find their recurring fights aren't really about what they think they're about. When you can see that clearly, everything shifts. The goal isn't just to stop arguing. It's to actually feel close again.