Great Couples Counseling in Newington, VA. Therapy to heal relationships.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

Couples counseling, which includes marriage counseling, tends to be at least 50% of my work as a therapist. I have had post-graduate training in couples counseling and working with couples after an affair. I am also certified to provide pre-marriage counseling using the Prepare Inventory. There is great benefit in seeing a counselor when your relationship is fracturing. In therapy, each person is given the opportunity to express his or her concerns, communication and conflict resolution skills are developed, and new patterns of relating are established.

Intimate relationships have a unique ability to highlight areas we need improvement in. With that said, the challenges that intimate relationships pose also create the opportunity for each person in the relationship to grow in ways they otherwise would not have. In couples counseling with me, we will work to understand how the baggage each person brings into the relationship affects the relationship, as well as discover strategies to support each other in healing so that this relationship can help both individuals be the person they have potential to be.

Your relationship with your partner is the most important relationship in your life. Relationship issues touch every area of our lives. Learning healthy relationship skills is a fundamental building block of a successful life. Through therapy, you will learn how to achieve intimacy, manage conflict, how to give and receive love, and to create the relationship you have always wanted.

One of the most prevaling issues with one or both is to not feel "heard". Much emphasis has to be on the word "feelings". If one or the other has been abused in some way, they are very sensitive to "feelings". The word "being" is a key for stabilization of the relationship. I have done much research on the "Keys to Life" and one of the necessities is to trust. Listening and trusting are probably the glue that holds any relationship together and is foundational. A couple learning their primary function is not about themselves, but the common good of the family unit. After all, what will be your legacy? What will you be known for?

We specialize in helping couples, using Emotionally Focused Therapy. This is a complex approach which helps couples (of all sorts) to understand the deep need for safety and connection we all have, innately. When we feel repeatedly disappointed in the connection, or a serious breach such as an affair occurs, people react with protective anger, protesting the loss. Unfortunately, that angry protest often drives the more reticent partner farther away, leaving the first one even more desperate. We help people see that the unhappy cycle they are caught in is responsible for their suffering. And then we help them to find and share their more vulnerable feelings, creating a positive and affirming cycle....

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

A large part of my work as a therapist is with couples: married, unmarried and pre-marriage. My approach focuses on communication, conflict resolution and understanding the internal dynamics of each individual and how these dynamics affect the couple relationship. I seek to help you understand your own personality and background as well as that of your partner. I am certified to administer an inventory, which can uncover the similarities and differences in your relationship dynamics.

Working with couples is a dynamic process that requires the therapist to maintain a safe space where both people can feel heard and understood. I am a certified Imago therapist and use a dialogical process to increase the emotional intimacy between the two people. I have worked with straight, bi, gay and lesbian and transgendered couples, and many different ethnic groups---and find that the challenges are essentially the same---to create a bond of trust that allows for all parts of the two people to show up and be accepted in the relationship. I share helpful handouts that people can use when they are home, to be able to deal with conflict more skillfully.