Great Couples Counseling in Tehachapi, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Marriage is meant to be beautiful - and life giving. But at times the challenges of life, or our own pride, or foolish choices, can stop the life giving flow that marriage can be, and instead bring pain, bitterness, and hurt. Anyone can have a great marriage. But not everyone is willing to make the changes inside of their lives, or outside of their lives, that are needed to make a great marriage. Love is proven by sacrifice. God proved His love on a cross. Our love for our spouse must be proven as well. If couples are willing to submit to the process of change, and forgiveness, and growth, then any marriage can heal and even thrive.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Couples counseling isn’t just for married partners, it’s for any two people navigating a relationship where communication, trust, or emotional connection feels strained. I help couples uncover unspoken patterns, rebuild mutual respect, and develop practical tools to feel seen and heard. Using Solution-Focused and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we work to strengthen the partnership, address underlying tensions, and create more understanding. This isn’t about blame, it’s about building a healthier, more resilient connection together.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php