Great Couples Counseling in New York City, NY. Therapy to heal relationships.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Relationships are hard, as any news site will eagerly tell you. Stories of celebrity affairs, break-ups and other scandals are so common that there doesn’t seem to be much hope for the rest of us. I’m here to tell you that there is hope, even after years of tension, conflict, or emotional distance for any couple—straight, gay, dating, married, post-divorce—from any racial, ethnic, or spiritual background. Conflict happens in all relationships. But it isn’t inevitable, even after years of bad feeling. I help couples step outside of their pain and frustration to see each of their roles in these conflicts. From there, couple can begin to communicate and finally have conversations that have productive outcomes leading to greater intimacy.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

Couples therapy often requires both partners to participate. Communication and acceptance is key to progress. Partners lay on their issues and explore their emotions and behaviors they display towards each other. We also help each other explore our coping mechanisms and learn if its healthy or not. In this therapy working together through the problems is important.

Couples often go through ups and downs. While this can be normal, many of us have discovered at times that we may not have the emotional, interpersonal, or practical skills to navigate this as well as we would like. There is a great deal of evidence that cognitive behavioral couples therapy is effective for increasing relationship satisfaction. There is even evidence that effective couples therapy can help to reduce depression symptoms. While a romantic relationship may require work, we also want it to be a source of support. Learning skills to effectively communicate, problem solve, and accept the situations a couple faces can significantly improve both partners' satisfaction.

We help couples strengthen their relationships in a safe, confidential setting. Counseling can give you insight into your dynamics, prevent disagreements from escalating, repair emotional wounds, and rekindle passion. Even the healthiest, most loving couples fight. Disagreements are natural in any relationship. What matters is how you process them. What lessons do you learn? What actions do you take to meet everyone’s needs going forward? It takes uncommon skills to resolve disputes with sensitivity. An experienced New York couples counselor can illuminate your relationship dynamics in useful ways, resolve existing conflicts and prevent unhealthy escalation.

You will learn the complicated dynamics that are occurring in your relationship on several different levels - emotion, behavior, and cognitive. You will each learn what you bring to the relationship as individuals and how that fits with your partner. You will learn communication skills and how to listen to your partner for content and emotion. You will have a safe space to talk about difficult issues. You may find increased intimacy with your partner. Couples counseling is not just for romantic relationships. Business and creative partners can also benefit from couples therapy.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php