Great Couples Counseling in New York City, NY. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationships are hard, as any news site will eagerly tell you. Stories of celebrity affairs, break-ups and other scandals are so common that there doesn’t seem to be much hope for the rest of us. I’m here to tell you that there is hope, even after years of tension, conflict, or emotional distance for any couple—straight, gay, dating, married, post-divorce—from any racial, ethnic, or spiritual background. Conflict happens in all relationships. But it isn’t inevitable, even after years of bad feeling. I help couples step outside of their pain and frustration to see each of their roles in these conflicts. From there, couple can begin to communicate and finally have conversations that have productive outcomes leading to greater intimacy.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

So much of what makes a couple successful comes from careful listening and clearly communicating wants, needs and experience. It is easy to fall into the trap of making incorrect assumptions, letting misunderstandings fester and forgetting what you loved about your partner in the first place! The benefit of working with me is that I can provide the safe space to explore and fix how you might be organizing around each other in a way that results in frustration, confusion and anger. We can work with each other and get back on track!

You don’t even know how long it’s been since you and your partner felt connected. Life has gotten so crazy that prioritizing togetherness falls straight to the bottom of your mental to-do list. You know you are ‘all in’. You are fully committed and want this to work. It’s just that, when the same old problems and arguments come up you start to wonder, “Why am I doing this? Is it over?” Maybe there is a crisis, you’ve been unfaithful or you discovered that your partner was, how do you pick up the pieces? How can you possibly move on? I'm here to tell you, its possible to heal. It's possible to have the life you truly want.

I get to know the couples as individuals and as a couple. So, I would start with a joint session with the both of you, and then see you both individually. The reason for that is that people share different information with and without their partner. All information is confidential, and the rule is "No leaking" (that is, not to talk about your individual session, with me, with your partner).

Looking at the different ways you and your partner communicate creates a new awareness about many misunderstandings. I instruct you in ways of listening and speaking to one another in ways which significantly reduces the conflicts in your relationship.. Learning new ways to communicate will help you and your partner develop happier, stronger relationships.

You will learn the complicated dynamics that are occurring in your relationship on several different levels - emotion, behavior, and cognitive. You will each learn what you bring to the relationship as individuals and how that fits with your partner. You will learn communication skills and how to listen to your partner for content and emotion. You will have a safe space to talk about difficult issues. You may find increased intimacy with your partner. Couples counseling is not just for romantic relationships. Business and creative partners can also benefit from couples therapy.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Married or not, couple, throuple, poly, open relationship, long-distance relationship - you've found yourself in a relationship situation that isn't working for you anymore. This can be sexual boredom, dishonesty, financial issues, work-life balance and any any number of other issues. Let's help you address what you need/want to address and help you design a relationship that works for the people in it, or help you move on from that relationship to prepare for what comes next.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

Couples often go through ups and downs. While this can be normal, many of us have discovered at times that we may not have the emotional, interpersonal, or practical skills to navigate this as well as we would like. There is a great deal of evidence that cognitive behavioral couples therapy is effective for increasing relationship satisfaction. There is even evidence that effective couples therapy can help to reduce depression symptoms. While a romantic relationship may require work, we also want it to be a source of support. Learning skills to effectively communicate, problem solve, and accept the situations a couple faces can significantly improve both partners' satisfaction.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.