Anger Management and Counselling in North Cowichan, BC.

I am honoured that you are interested in my services and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been described as slightly non-conventional in the counselling world, which suits me perfectly, and also tends to suit youth who are trying to stand up to the force of the problems in their life. I am very comfortable working with this population, and I feel fortunate that I can connect with teens the way I do, conventionally or in a way that makes sense to them.

We work with individuals who want to work on and take accountability for their anger and violence. We offer a dignity informed approach to understand and offer insight and support in issues of anger and violence. Our hope is to delve into the context and history of the individual and determine what is happening in the anger and violence and help with accountability and different choices around the anger and violence.

Anger is not an abnormal reaction, but did you know that it is most often not your first response? In other words, it's what is generated when your first emotional reaction to something or someone isn't identified and dealt with. I help people to understand their primary emotions and then find ways to express them with greater clarity and healthier actions. We'll also explore when anger is appropriate and how you can use that energy to confront whatever you see as the cause in a safer, more effective way. You will never look at anger the same way again.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive-aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I work with adults and youth from a Trauma-Informed and culturally sensitive perspective. My focus in counselling is to provide education about anger and unhealthy behavior, emotional dysregulation, developing empathy for self and others; understanding personal limits, establishing healthy boundaries, and resolving conflict through improved communication and emotional regulation skills. I work within a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) framework.

We all experience difficulties from time to time in managing our emotions. We feel anger, frustration, anxiety and irritation. When not properly managed we may experience stress, burnout, and feel unsatisfied with life. Our relationships and parenting skills may suffer. Sometimes this is due to us having too many issues to deal with at once, lack of supports in our lives; and when not taught to us, a lack of skills or resources to cope. Seeking the support of a counsellor can help. I have facilitated anger management workshops, and provided one on one counselling to teach coping and management skills. As a former Forensic Therapist, I am qualified to provide court ordered treatment.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Anger often masks other emotions such as sadness, and shame. I work to uncover what is behind acting out in anger to address the root cause. At the same time, I provide ample opportunity for the learning of new skills in order to master how to regulate intense emotions. Benefits include no longer feeling burdened by anger and resentment as well as improved relationships with those around you.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)