Grief and Loss Counselling in Lake Cowichan, BC.

Did you know that the "stages of grief" were actually developed for those facing death, NOT for those who have lost a loved one? Unfortunately, this leads many to feel they MUST grief in a certain order of stages. -And that if they don't, that they are somehow doing it wrong. NOT TRUE! Grief looks different for everyone and happens at it's own pace. I offer non-judgemental support and guidance to those who have suffered a significant loss. This includes the complicated grief of losing a living family member to addiction, mental illness or brain disease such as dementia.

When we are facing grief and loss, there is often a complex web of emotions and many layers of meaning-making to encounter in our healing process. The path is never linear. The timeline requires sensitivity and nuance. Compassion, patience and the ability to hold seemingly contradictory feelings are paramount. With gentle presence, we can hold the magnitude and the subtleties of this experience moving step by step towards healing. In addition to grief counselling, I offer EMDR and other trauma processing approaches to support you in your healing when appropriate.

Grief can change everything. It can leave you feeling lost, exhausted, angry, numb, or wondering how you're supposed to move forward when a part of your life has changed forever. You don't have to have the right words or know what you need before you reach out. Together, we can make sense of what you're carrying, find ways to cope with the moments that feel hardest, and help you move forward without feeling like you have to leave your memories, or the person you've lost, behind. My goal is to help you feel more grounded, supported, and able to find your footing again, one step at a time.

Experiencing a loss goes beyond the loss of the family, friend, pet, or child to be. Not only have you lost the loved one physically; you lose what your life was with them; and what your future with them would have been. Overcoming such loss can feel overwhelming and impossible to heal. Counselling can make a significant difference in getting through this difficult period. Family members who may mean well may not understand the loss and inadvertently cause us pain: by expecting us to ‘get over it’, and by impatient and unsympathetic. Counselling offers a compassionate sounding board that is sympathetic and non-judgemental. We are able to heal at our own pace in a supportive environment.

For complex grief and loss, clients can benefit from working with a therapist who is compassionate and patient, providing space and time to move at your own pace. At the same time, we will develop skills to help the nervous system regulate and relax while processing through sharing your story, using EMDR and working with nature to normalize the death and life cycles.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I have lived experience in grief and loss, and through talk therapeutic approaches, we will gently process through feelings of loss, guilt, tragic and overwhelming, devastating feelings that may be creating levels of dysfunction in your current life circumstances. I also utilize therapy walks to facilitate your movement through your loss and to assist in it by carrying and accepting your loss.

If you have lost someone, I offer a compassionate and supportive space to explore your unique experience of loss. Listening carefully to your story, there's an opportunity to identify and honour your feelings, your memories and your relationship. Through gentle conversation and questions, there's a chance to rewrite your grief story, discover strengths, attend to resilience and find meaning amidst your pain. You can begin to acknowledge what you've been through while promoting healing, growth, a continued bond with the one who has passed and learning to live with loss

After significant loss, you may experience difficult and surprising emotions, such as anger, shock and guilt. It may feel like the sadness will never go away. I know personally what this feels like and I support many people who are trying to find ways to cope and find their reason to continue. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are however many healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! I can help you.