Grief and Loss Counselling in Lake Cowichan, BC.

After significant loss, you may experience difficult and surprising emotions, such as anger, shock and guilt. It may feel like the sadness will never go away. I know personally what this feels like and I support many people who are trying to find ways to cope and find their reason to continue. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are however many healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! I can help you.

Experiencing a loss goes beyond the loss of the family, friend, pet, or child to be. Not only have you lost the loved one physically; you lose what your life was with them; and what your future with them would have been. Overcoming such loss can feel overwhelming and impossible to heal. Counselling can make a significant difference in getting through this difficult period. Family members who may mean well may not understand the loss and inadvertently cause us pain: by expecting us to ‘get over it’, and by impatient and unsympathetic. Counselling offers a compassionate sounding board that is sympathetic and non-judgemental. We are able to heal at our own pace in a supportive environment.

Are you feeling sad, anxious, angry, lonely, guilty, relieved, isolated, confused, or numbed out? Loss and grief is most often associated with loss of life, but it can also be central to the presenting problems and underlying issues that are brought into my counselling office by most of my clients. Death, divorce, relocation, immigration, job loss, relationship breakdowns...these are all losses that we need to work through. Talking about your loss and processing your feelings is a good place to start.

When we are facing grief and loss, there is often a complex web of emotions and many layers of meaning-making to encounter in our healing process. The path is never linear. The timeline requires sensitivity and nuance. Compassion, patience and the ability to hold seemingly contradictory feelings are paramount. With gentle presence, we can hold the magnitude and the subtleties of this experience moving step by step towards healing.

When we are mourning a loved one, whether it be a family member, the end of a close relationship, or even an animal that was dear to heart, it is a very complex and painful process. There is no one right way to grieve. Some clients need to discuss a specific situation word-for-word in order to process a loss and others need to just sit in the pain and cry. As a counsellor, I would be there on that journey with you. I would discuss with you what you want to discuss about the loss and I would use a client-centred approach to help guide you through your bereavement.

Grief and loss is an area of focus at Island Clinical Counselling. Therapy involves spending time in the emotions associated with the grief and loss in order to allow the individual to process the emotion in a healthy way. Experiencing grief and loss is like no other emotion and sometimes is connected to trauma. We ensure clients are treated in a trauma informed way so that their safety is prioritized.

Did you know that the "stages of grief" were actually developed for those facing death, NOT for those who have lost a loved one? Unfortunately, this leads many to feel they MUST grief in a certain order of stages. -And that if they don't, that they are somehow doing it wrong. NOT TRUE! Grief looks different for everyone and happens at it's own pace. I offer non-judgemental support and guidance to those who have suffered a significant loss. This includes the complicated grief of losing a living family member to addiction, mental illness or brain disease such as dementia.

Grief has a way of pulling the ground out from underneath you, and my work is to help you find steady footing again. In our sessions, we look honestly at the pain, the confusion, the anger—nothing is off-limits and nothing is “too much.” I guide you toward uncovering the meaning hidden inside your heartbreak, helping you rebuild a life that feels true rather than numb. Clients often experience a shift from simply enduring their loss to discovering a renewed sense of identity, purpose, and personal strength.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.