Great Couples Counseling in Los Altos Hills, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

The feeling of falling in love can feel so wonderful and our life can seem full of promise. As time goes by, we must face the reality of our lives and the person whom we love. We may believe, "I have fallen out of love." The key to healthy intimate relationships is to calm ourselves internally as individuals and connect with our pleasant feelings; this is healthy emotional regulation. The better that I regulate my emotions as an individual, the stronger I can create a bond with my partner or spouse. A secure bond is the foundation of a relationship that is both satisfying and co-creative. This is the promise of love that we glimpsed when we initially fell in love.

I work with couples who are in a host of stages of relationship and wanting to improve their communication and their harmony in relationship. In some cases, I work with married couples around increasing passion and decreasing conflict; with others, I help after a betrayal or one of the many issues that being in a couple can present. Most important, I provide a safe space for couples to know themselves both individually and in the context of their unique couplehood.

Couples typically do not seek counseling until there is a major break down in their relationship and hope to find a counselor to "fix" their problems. Resolving your issues is not my goal as a counselor--my goal is to help you and your partner learn and develop new ways to communicate which will allow you two to resolve your own issues together as a couple, both during and after therapy. I aim to help you and your partner develop long-term skills which you can use for years to come.

A healthy couple’s relationship emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. If you find yourself in a difficult cycle of hurtful interactions, I can help you get to this heart-full and constructive place. It is very useful to slow things down in a session, discovering the moments in interaction, verbal or non-verbal, that trigger an automatic reaction in the other. I may find a key phrase or a movement that we will re-enact in mindfulness to study the effect on each partner. Bringing awareness to these often unconscious triggers and responses helps you get to what is needed for yourself and the other.

Are you feeling helpless and hopeless about your relationship? Do you often feel frustrated and defeated, opting to withdraw from your partner or emotionally lash out in ways you know are hurtful? Do you wish you could rekindle the passion and romance you used to feel in your relationship when you were dating, but can't seem to find any hope in making it happen? Has having children changed your relationship for the worse. I offer a research based assessment and treatment process that clearly guides couples better ways to express emotion, deal with conflict, and rekindle the love that brought them together. Contact me for a free consultation appointment.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Partnership has the potential to be incredibly rewarding, teaching us about ourselves through loving another. Most of us make a large emotional investment in our relationships. Because of this, partnership also has the potential to cause a huge amount of distress when it’s not working. Sometimes a struggling partnership is full of conflict and arguments, and sometimes partners just drift apart until they feel like roommates instead of lovers. Successful partnerships need respect and a core of friendship. If you and your partner are no longer friends, or you never were, I can provide you with tools to work toward a closer connection.

I thoroughly enjoy aiding couples in their ability to communicate with one another so they can fully enjoy the potential of their marriage/relationship. Facilitating deeper understanding in your personal feelings and workings and those of your partner, enable you as a couple to grow closer & stronger. It builds capacity to face adversity, for example past trauma.

Dr. Goodwin finds working with couples to be very rewarding. She uses an eclectic, research-based approach which focuses on increasing insight and compassion to both the self and the other partner, (re)building friendship, and teaching behaviors that improve communication and connection. She believes in building on couples and individual strengths. Her approach is active, warm, and non-judgmental. Dr. Goodwin also has experience working with couples around sexual issues, an important aspect of many relationships. Dr. Goodwin also enjoys working with LGTBQ couples and individuals.

I view couples therapy as extremely collaborative, and I use a strong team approach to get quick results. I am very involved in the session at all times and will honestly communicate to you what I see, feel and think. I begin by establishing a vision for the relationship, which incorporates the ideals of both members. My office becomes a safe haven, where problems can be discussed without fear of pain, judgment or retribution. Our consultation time is used as a living laboratory, a place where we can explore different styles, interventions and techniques. These can be used to change hurtful and destructive patterns in the relationship and create a stronger, more open connection.

Tired of the same old arguments? Sad or even scared about the growing disconnect? Want to change but can't seem to stop the same old cycle from happening again and again? Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) transforms couples in a powerfully and emotionally engaging way , and is now considered one of the best validated couples interventions approach by leading experts all over the country. So often all of our arguments or disconnects have at their core a desire to know, "Are you there for me?" Or, " Do I really matter to you?" EFT addresses the fears that keep us apart and allows us to move close in ways that beautifully work. To learn more please visit my website right now.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.