Great Couples Counseling in Portola Valley, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I teach couples constructive paths through the inevitable relationship conflicts and challenges we all experience. By coaching them through the researched base principals and practices for creating successful relationships, I support them in achieving their goals of creating loving companionship and respect for themselves and for each other. And as a couple embodies these relationships tools they become empowered to prevent or work through most relationship challenges going forward.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

I specialize in working with couples and trauma. I help my clients encounter themselves and reach for growth. Both for themselves and for those they love. I help people searching for peace, connection, and wholeness. And because no single approach is right for everyone, I have training in a range of approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Falling in love can feel wonderful... But, as time goes by, we need to face the reality of our lives and the person whom we love. We may believe we've "fallen out of love" ... yet the key to healthy, long-lasting, intimate relationships is to calm ourselves internally and learn healthy emotional regulation. The better you regulate your emotions as an individual, the stronger the bond you can create with your partner or spouse. And this is precisely what I can help you learn to do in the online marriage counseling services I offer. Please feel free to visit my website for more information or contact me today to see how I can help your relationship move forward again with love and optimism!

Do you feel that your relationship with your partner has become more difficult through time? Have the challenges of juggling the demands of work & child rearing responsibilities caused you to lose connection with one another? Do you ask yourself why can't my partner and I communicate effectively? The growing demands on couples and families in our success-driven society can result in the loss of effective communication & connection with each other. Utilizing techniques from Dr. John Gottman, & Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, I help couples heal, reconnect & reestablish their love relationship with a more compassion, and deeper understanding of one another.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

Would you like to create a more loving, fulfilling relationship as a couple? Couple's counseling is a great way to invest in your relationship and get to know yourself and your partner more deeply. I use a strengths-based approach with couples, looking at what drew you together, what is working well in your relationship and how you can leverage your loving feelings to create a strong, lasting relationship.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Couples may they be in a dating relationship, living together, engaged to marry, married, in business together, separating, divorcing, fighting over children, property, alimony or visitation, are often confronted with a breakdown in communication and an inability to resolve conflicts. Couple counseling aims to reveal the disconnect within a couple that often once had the ability to connect and function in harmony. Couples can quickly get off track with one another and need skilled guidance to help them learn to resolve conflicts, once again listen and communicate effectively as well as to be able to disagree without forcing the relationship to end.

FREE 30 zoom call - Couples therapy lights me up! Not feeling heard, understood, valued or supported? Toxic conflict? Withdrawing? Longing for help? Utilizing evidence-based modalities such as EFT & powerful tools from PACT, NVC, & IFS, I help couples create a secure bond, a safe haven from life's challenges. You'll learn to trust, support, hear & "be there" for each other. Discover attachment styles and learn about the brain & nervous system, survival parts and trauma that may be hurting your relationship. Develop critical self-awareness, accountabiity & WE instead of just ME mentality. Turn towards each other instead of away with authenticity, compassion, attunement & understanding.

Do you think that you are doomed for your relationship to stay the same because your partner refuses to come to therapy? My specialty with couples counseling is to work individually with the partner that is willing to come in to counseling and work to make things better. Change and positive progress can still happen when one person makes changes, sets boundaries and clearly understands and is able to respectfully assert their wants and needs. I assist individuals in my office with a plan they can work on at home with their partner so they can have the relationship they desire.

If you are a couple, whether married or not, it is important to keep your relationship happy and healthy. I have experience with many different couples, and if it is one thing that I have learned, it is that each couple is 'unique'. I listen to my couple clients very carefully, so that I can get an idea who they are and what they want before making any treatment decisions. Clients are the expert on their lives; I am the expert on relationships. Together we make therapy work.

Using a combination of Gottman Method Couples Therapy as well as Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples therapy, I will help you and your partner identify your problem areas and negative cycles that keep you stuck and support your relationship moving back into a pattern of ease and intimacy. We will support increased core emotion expression, identification of each individual's needs, breaking down old negative habits, and reconstructing new habits that will keep your connection strong for the long term. Let's discuss your needs today in a free consultation.

Being part of a loving couple is hard work. My clients often come to me when they feel their lives and their relationship spiraling out of control. I help my clients to look back at what brought them together, to see what is currently tearing them apart, and to explore past family patterns and make certain they are not being blinldy repeated. As the elements of the current situation become clearer, I help my clients learn important tools to foster clear communication, understanding and empathy. Armed with greater understanding and important tools, they can heal their wounds and find joy comfort and support being together.

A healthy couple’s relationship emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. If you find yourself in a difficult cycle of hurtful interactions, I can help you get to this heart-full and constructive place. It is very useful to slow things down in a session, discovering the moments in interaction, verbal or non-verbal, that trigger an automatic reaction in the other. I may find a key phrase or a movement that we will re-enact in mindfulness to study the effect on each partner. Bringing awareness to these often unconscious triggers and responses helps you get to what is needed for yourself and the other.

I work with all relationship systems and support deepening intimacy and connection in a client-led way. It's important that the therapeutic relationship help clients identify and nurture the desired dynamics of their unique relationship system - you are not bound by societal, or even your own unexamined expecations of what your relationship(s) should be. What are your needs and values? How can your relationship(s) provide fertile ground for intentionality in getting your needs met in all areas of your life?

Couples often find that their hopes and expectations for finding that special person who will "make them happy" are unrealistic and a burden to an otherwise very successful relationship. I find that when you learn to listen to your partner and appreciate who they are, and risk telling them who you are and how you feel, your love will be on solid ground. I will help you focus on what you need to feel loving and loveable, and to share that with your partner.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I help all couples, including LGBTQ couples, work on their relationships. Many couples find they develop difficulty with emotional and physical intimacy, communication during the course of their relationship. Some couples want to explore polyamory, while others require a kink-aware therapist. I can provide counseling and support around all of those issues in a positive, supportive and nonjudgemental environment.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.

If your relationship feels stuck or you have no idea how to communicate to your loved one, your couple's connection can be revived or created in the way you both desire. I have specialized in strengthening communication skills and helping each of you express understanding for the other...but in your unique way. No cookie cutters here! We all have gifts to offer those we are in a long time or blossoming romantic relationship with. Being taught and supported in how to give recognition and receive true emotional connection with each other can deepen the satisfaction of your lives together . Clearing conflict can happen with coaching you in what was confusing or distressing to your partner