Great Couples Counseling in Redwood City, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I focus my practice on supporting families (or key individuals within the family) facing issues related to separation, divorce, co-parenting and mixed/blended families. I work with couples who are going through the processes of separation and divorce, supporting them with being able to co-parent successfully. I can also work with parents as they re-partner, creating new blended/mixed families.

Issues that can be worked on in couples counseling often stem from conscious and unconscious assumptions and expectations that each person has about the other. The individual sees the other through the lens of their upbringing and relationship history. I help couples unpack the complex and often tangled web of how each person is understood and misunderstood in the eyes of the other. In doing so, each partner can have a deeper understanding of themselves and their partner, generating compassion, clearer communication, and emotional space from pressing issues.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

I view couples therapy as extremely collaborative, and I use a strong team approach to get quick results. I am very involved in the session at all times and will honestly communicate to you what I see, feel and think. I begin by establishing a vision for the relationship, which incorporates the ideals of both members. My office becomes a safe haven, where problems can be discussed without fear of pain, judgment or retribution. Our consultation time is used as a living laboratory, a place where we can explore different styles, interventions and techniques. These can be used to change hurtful and destructive patterns in the relationship and create a stronger, more open connection.

A healthy couple’s relationship emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. If you find yourself in a difficult cycle of hurtful interactions, I can help you get to this heart-full and constructive place. It is very useful to slow things down in a session, discovering the moments in interaction, verbal or non-verbal, that trigger an automatic reaction in the other. I may find a key phrase or a movement that we will re-enact in mindfulness to study the effect on each partner. Bringing awareness to these often unconscious triggers and responses helps you get to what is needed for yourself and the other.

I work with couples that are struggling to connect emotionally, have issues with communication, and want to create new relational dynamics that increase their connection. My approach is warm and collaborative and I work hard to carefully listen to each person to provide the therapeutic interventions necessary to increase understanding, communication, mutual interest, curiosity, and awareness. In my experience couples enter treatment with varying degrees of ambivalence and desire for change. I work hard to create a safe environment to explore each persons concerns and desires so we can better collaborate towards working together to generate movement and change.

I am certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy which is based on 30 years of research into what works for couples. 90% of couples who go through Emotionally Focused Therapy report an improvement in their relationship. Sometimes it can seem like the same argument happens over and over, even though the topic might seem different. Often partners don't feel that they are understood or heard. I help couples understand, see, and hear their own and their partner's more vulnerable feelings which underlie the stuck pattern of arguments. The closeness you used to have can be regained and is often improved as you understand and know each other better than you ever did before

Couples typically do not seek counseling until there is a major break down in their relationship and hope to find a counselor to "fix" their problems. Resolving your issues is not my goal as a counselor--my goal is to help you and your partner learn and develop new ways to communicate which will allow you two to resolve your own issues together as a couple, both during and after therapy. I aim to help you and your partner develop long-term skills which you can use for years to come.

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

Do you feel that your relationship with your partner has become more difficult through time? Have the challenges of juggling the demands of work & child rearing responsibilities caused you to lose connection with one another? Do you ask yourself why can't my partner and I communicate effectively? The growing demands on couples and families in our success-driven society can result in the loss of effective communication & connection with each other. Utilizing techniques from Dr. John Gottman, & Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, I help couples heal, reconnect & reestablish their love relationship with a more compassion, and deeper understanding of one another.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.

Are you dating and having problems in communication and other areas? Getting counseling while you are in the dating phase can prevent you from developing unhealthy habits that keep you from moving to the next level in your relationship. Couples Counseling can help you learn those skills needed to enhance your relationship.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.