Great Couples Counseling in Palo Alto, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

If your relationship feels stuck or you have no idea how to communicate to your loved one, your couple's connection can be revived or created in the way you both desire. I have specialized in strengthening communication skills and helping each of you express understanding for the other...but in your unique way. No cookie cutters here! We all have gifts to offer those we are in a long time or blossoming romantic relationship with. Being taught and supported in how to give recognition and receive true emotional connection with each other can deepen the satisfaction of your lives together . Clearing conflict can happen with coaching you in what was confusing or distressing to your partner

Intimate partnerships provide miraculous opportunities to heal and grow. In couples therapy I create a safe space to build deep and lasting transformation with improved communication and mutual empathy. My approach is integrative and includes Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory modalities, sex therapy, and intuition. I am direct, compassionate, poly/ENM friendly, queer allied, and sex-worker allied. All are welcome here!

Gaining the support of a trained therapist when you desire to improve your relationship with someone can be incredibly valuable. It can often feel like you are stuck in patterns of how you are responding to the other person, maybe you even notice how hard it can be to be honest and vulnerable with other person, despite desiring increased connection. I am trained in couples therapy and use a variety of approaches to support a couple in improving their relationship, depending on the needs of the couple. I am skilled in the Gottman approach and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples), and I also use IFS (Internal Family Systems). Call to discuss how I can support your relationship growth.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!

Couples counseling helps partners learn how to communicate openly, listen actively, and express their thoughts and feelings. Together, my relationship counseling clients and I build a toolbox for safely navigating issues, understanding each other's perspectives, deepening intimacy, and resolving conflicts. My couples counseling clients learn how to keep the flame lit and build lasting passion in their relationship. We work on techniques for avoiding the conundrum of feeling like roommates or business partners who are raising kids together. We can also work to heal breaches of trust, investigating underlying causes and working on rebuilding the trust that has been lost.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

I specialize in working with couples and trauma. I help my clients encounter themselves and reach for growth. Both for themselves and for those they love. I help people searching for peace, connection, and wholeness. And because no single approach is right for everyone, I have training in a range of approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.