Great Couples Counseling in Stanford, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

A healthy couple’s relationship emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. If you find yourself in a difficult cycle of hurtful interactions, I can help you get to this heart-full and constructive place. It is very useful to slow things down in a session, discovering the moments in interaction, verbal or non-verbal, that trigger an automatic reaction in the other. I may find a key phrase or a movement that we will re-enact in mindfulness to study the effect on each partner. Bringing awareness to these often unconscious triggers and responses helps you get to what is needed for yourself and the other.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

In her book, Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel says, "Tell me how you were loved and I will tell you how you make love." It is a provacative statement which will make some uncomfortable and yet I believe it. Our earliest relationships form the template for how we will step into our adult relationships. What we learned about our needs, wants, joy, gender, identity, sexuality, pleasure all stem from this early experience. Often what we learned then is not how we now want to participate in relationships.

I help couples in ambivalence, individuals recovering from past relationship or attachment wounds, and spouses or family members of addicted loved ones. Transform your marriage with deep connection. I help couples understand each other, heal individual wounds, and fostering a closeness like never before. I am trained in Gottman Method Couples Counseling, Emotional Focused Therapy, and IFS for couples.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Gaining the support of a trained therapist when you desire to improve your relationship with someone can be incredibly valuable. It can often feel like you are stuck in patterns of how you are responding to the other person, maybe you even notice how hard it can be to be honest and vulnerable with other person, despite desiring increased connection. I am trained in couples therapy and use a variety of approaches to support a couple in improving their relationship, depending on the needs of the couple. I am skilled in the Gottman approach and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples), and I also use IFS (Internal Family Systems). Call to discuss how I can support your relationship growth.

FREE 30 zoom call - text/call 510-335-5222. Couples therapy lights me up! Not feeling heard, understood, valued or supported? Toxic conflict? Withdrawing? Longing for help? Utilizing research-backed EFT & powerful tools from PACT, NVC, & IFS, I help couples create a secure bond & safe haven with each other. You'll learn to trust, support, hear & "be there" for each other. Discover your attachment styles & learn about the brain & nervous system, survival parts and trauma that may be damaging your relationship. Develop self-awareness, accountabiity & WE instead of just ME mentality. Turn towards each other instead of away with authenticity, compassion, attunement & understanding.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I provide couples counseling, marriage counseling, pre-marital and blended family couples counseling. I use Gottman principals and emotional focused therapy approaches in helping you build stronger connections, foster effective communication, and overall create lives built and aligned together. For those that would like Christian couples counseling we will integrate biblical principals alongside therapeutic interventions.

If you are a couple, whether married or not, it is important to keep your relationship happy and healthy. I have experience with many different couples, and if it is one thing that I have learned, it is that each couple is 'unique'. I listen to my couple clients very carefully, so that I can get an idea who they are and what they want before making any treatment decisions. Clients are the expert on their lives; I am the expert on relationships. Together we make therapy work.

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Being part of a loving couple is hard work. My clients often come to me when they feel their lives and their relationship spiraling out of control. I help my clients to look back at what brought them together, to see what is currently tearing them apart, and to explore past family patterns and make certain they are not being blinldy repeated. As the elements of the current situation become clearer, I help my clients learn important tools to foster clear communication, understanding and empathy. Armed with greater understanding and important tools, they can heal their wounds and find joy comfort and support being together.

I specialize in working with couples and trauma. I help my clients encounter themselves and reach for growth. Both for themselves and for those they love. I help people searching for peace, connection, and wholeness. And because no single approach is right for everyone, I have training in a range of approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Couples counseling helps partners learn how to communicate openly, listen actively, and express their thoughts and feelings. Together, my relationship counseling clients and I build a toolbox for safely navigating issues, understanding each other's perspectives, deepening intimacy, and resolving conflicts. My couples counseling clients learn how to keep the flame lit and build lasting passion in their relationship. We work on techniques for avoiding the conundrum of feeling like roommates or business partners who are raising kids together. We can also work to heal breaches of trust, investigating underlying causes and working on rebuilding the trust that has been lost.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.

Couples often find that their hopes and expectations for finding that special person who will "make them happy" are unrealistic and a burden to an otherwise very successful relationship. I find that when you learn to listen to your partner and appreciate who they are, and risk telling them who you are and how you feel, your love will be on solid ground. I will help you focus on what you need to feel loving and loveable, and to share that with your partner.

If your relationship feels stuck or you have no idea how to communicate to your loved one, your couple's connection can be revived or created in the way you both desire. I have specialized in strengthening communication skills and helping each of you express understanding for the other...but in your unique way. No cookie cutters here! We all have gifts to offer those we are in a long time or blossoming romantic relationship with. Being taught and supported in how to give recognition and receive true emotional connection with each other can deepen the satisfaction of your lives together . Clearing conflict can happen with coaching you in what was confusing or distressing to your partner

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Intimate partnerships provide miraculous opportunities to heal and grow. In couples therapy I create a safe space to build deep and lasting transformation with improved communication and mutual empathy. My approach is integrative and includes Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory modalities, sex therapy, and intuition. I am direct, compassionate, poly/ENM friendly, queer allied, and sex-worker allied. All are welcome here!

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples seek therapy for many reasons and at different stages of their lives, even when they are not experiencing overt difficulties. Some seek psychotherapy to become more intimate, to develop new capacities as a couple, to mediate conflicts before they become intractable or to prepare for the next phase in their journey together. Some come entrenched by long-standing difficulties that have subsumed their lives. Others come with doubts about their future, seeking clarity about their path, or needing help to navigate life's inevitable challenges. Most come seeking a greater sense of hope and possibility for their lives together. If you are seeking support for your relationship, I can help.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!