Anger Management and Counseling in Boulder, CO.

Anger is a HOT emotion that is intense to experience and offensive to others, however, its still a valid emotion. My approach to anger management is to help you get to the underlying emotions triggering anger. There are also helpful tools and coping skills that you can learn and practice in order to make practical changes to how you manage anger. I will help you understand your triggers, physical body sensations and develop effective skills to feel anger but not react to it.

Everyone gets angry; at another driver, at your partner, at your kids. This issue is not that you get angry, it's how you handle that anger.Too often we deal with our anger by yelling, hitting or withholding. I will help you look at the root of your anger, help you reframe it and give you positive skills to help you cope with the anger you feel. I will help you identify your "buttons" and explore a different way to respond when those "buttons are pushed"

Anger is a natural and necessary component of being human. Anger is appropriate in responding to violation; through establishing boundaries, righting a wrong, standing up for self/other, etc. Anger is destructive when it turns to aggression. Healthy anger is done in relationship, aggression occurs in isolation/separation from other. In my work with anger, I seek to explore the healthy aspect of your anger, what violation is it seeking to remedy? I will also explore when anger has moved out of relationship into aggression and no longer serves a healthy purpose.

Anger management is about impulse control. I can help you learn to experience and explore your angry and violent impulses without ACTING off of them. Angry feelings flow naturally from a great many life situations (e.g. competition, losses, personal violations, insults, dismissals, etc.). We usually do not recognize that our old unfinished business is behind our aggressive temper and behavior. I can help you identify your personal triggers, move away from the person who is setting you off in the moment, and work on your infinished business in private healthy ways.

Someone may have told you to learn "anger management". Perhaps you feel angry in response. And perhaps you know they are right. Feelings can escalate from impatience to frustration to irritation to angry outbursts to personal insults and threats to rage and assault. But you don't have to act on your anger. It's a normal human emotion after all. We all have to learn to manage it in becoming well-socialized. There are specific, effective, and creative ways to control the range of feelings you may have. At every point along the continuum, you can learn to de-escalate your thoughts, emotions, and actions. If you can admit to yourself that you could learn something, then I can help you.

Anger is one of the most challenging emotions to face in oneself and others. It can be the source of great shame, violence, and pain & yet it is valid and important. In working with your anger, we will let it express itself SAFELY and at a pace that feels appropriate for you. I utilize expressive therapy, breath work, talking self-inquiry, and EMDR to help you get to the root of your anger so that it can find completion without harming yourself or others any longer. Thoughts & behaviors that stem from envy, revenge and aggression STOP & a MORE COMPASSIONATE YOU takes the wheel. Old resentments & hurts will dissipate and you will find yourself freed up to feel relief and peace instead.

Anger is often the result of feeling that our boundaries have been crossed and that we haven’t been able to say no when we needed to. I can help you safely release old anger, and to repair and reestablish your ability to say no and make it stick. You'll also be able to practice saying yes to the nourishment and healing that is available in healthy relationships.

Anger issues are complex. Anger management may need to address a combination of struggles with anxiety, impulse control, social anxiety, relationship issues, and social skills. There is often much more to contend with. I do not believe in short-term anger management in most cases, given these complexities. To be free of the loss of control that can come with anger issues, the client needs to leave therapy being able to see the world as a safer and more manageable place.

I see my work with clients as working more with rage than anger. We all carry rage within us from wounds, unwanted intrusions, and deep isolation that don't get addressed, seen or appreciated. Rage happens deep within. It drives anger, irritation, passive aggression and secondary emotions of rage. My approach is to help you get in touch with the things that get you angry and begin to find out what else is there. I work on the practical level of everyday thinking and behaviors, the psychosomatic level of emotions and buried feelings, and the spiritual level which often connects to not feeling welcome in the world. We'll also work on healthy aggression and how to communicate authentically.

Angry outbursts can happen so fast that we don't realize what we are doing until we already do or say something we regret. That's too late, because the damage is already done. I guide you to slow down the process so you can become aware of the first sensation, thought, or feeling that arises before you are taken over by your anger. Over time, you learn to stop, breathe, and access your rational mind, so that you can make a conscious decision to not do something you'll regret. Also, utilizing IFS Therapy, I support you to become aware of the emotion underneath the anger; the hurt, shame, or frustration the anger is protecting. By calming and healing the underlying feeling, the anger can relax

You’re angry. You’re livid. You feel out of control. People tell you to cool it. You don’t know how. Sometimes you like your anger. Sometimes you hate it. Sometimes it embarrasses you. Sometimes it energizes you. You’re confused. You wish there were someone who understood, who could get it, and you. We can look at this together. I can help you figure out what anger is helpful for you, what is toxic to you, and how you can get out of dysfunctional ways of handling your anger and heal.

I don't offer traditional anger management therapy, but believe that by using mindfulness tools, practicing meditation, learning how to regulate emotions and accepting what is out of our control one can overcome issues with not being able to manage their anger. If we don't properly process and deal with what's bothering us it is going to end up coming out sideways. This make take the form of depression or anxiety or anger, but that energy will seek an outlet somewhere. I believe we can work together to learn to process these difficult emotions so that you don't have to act out in anger.