Anger Management and Counseling in West New York, NJ.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but your words will break my heart." Anger Management is a powerful source of self-knowledge that develops skills that are useful throughout life. Anger Management does not eliminate anger; it empowers us to recognize surges of anger quickly enough to make a behavioral ‘U turn’ rather than saying or doing something we will regret. Instead of automatically reacting we redirect our attention inward to identify what has aroused the feelings of anger and how to deal with them appropriately. Over time the people close to us come to recall our previous anger as a dim and distant memory.

Skills building interventions have been extremely successful in decreasing the negative effects of anger. At ART, clients learn to identify, develop and apply effective skills that reduce anger immediately!! It's not enough to TALK about what to do, but to PRACTICE the skills while in session. This way, you'll know exactly how to handle a situagtion that triggers anger. Protect your life and relationships! Learn how to use anger to your advantage.

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

The benefit of my approach is that instead of getting angry you will learn how to think and react creatively so you are better able to find a way to prevail in the long run. People and life will sometimes do you in and obstruct you. However, you are rarely at your best when angry. It is your beliefs that lead to your self-defeating feelings of anger. I show how an angry response leads you to have far less leverage than if you felt healthy negative feelings like great annoyance, frustration, displeasure and disappointment. I teach you how to think about injustice, interference, and insult so that you stay in control of your reactions in order to creatively respond and ultimately prevail!

Clients can explore and resolve past experiences which may be contributing to an amplification of negative feelings in trigger situations causing tension and distressing emotions and body sensations. Resolving underlying emotional issues related to present anger can help to be able to safely express anger that a client may not have been able to get in touch with before.

Recognizing that anger can be a complex emotion often influenced by hormonal changes, pregnancy-related stressors, or fertility challenges, I offer a tailored and empathetic space for women to explore and manage their anger effectively. Through a combination of evidence-based therapeutic techniques and a holistic perspective, clients can expect to develop personalized strategies for anger management that align with their reproductive journey.

Children and adolescents don’t usually say, “I’m having trouble with my anger right now and I need help coping”. They show us they’re experiencing overwhelming feelings with their actions and behaviors. Whether your child or teen is experiencing frequent tantrums or meltdowns or just difficulty regulating their emotions, I can help. I have extensive experience working with children and adolescents in both outpatient and school settings. Using play therapy, creative modalities, and cognitive behavioral therapy, I can help children and teens to communicate, make sense of their feelings, and begin to gain control over them so that they can overcome what’s standing in their way of happiness.

Managing our frustrations, irritations, upsets, and angry communication is a major challenge for men and women, children, and teens. Women’s anger is often sublimated as anxiety and incorrectly treated as such. I am interested in helping empower people to work through their anger and transform it into emotional strength. After working through anger issues, clients often report unexpected benefits, including more fulfilling relationships and financial success. Once the anger is overcome and clients develop skills to cope with everyday annoyances, they find themselves able to reach goals that had been thus far unattainable.

Anger isn't the problem. It's what's underneath it that we need to look at. Most people who struggle with anger aren't out of control, they're overwhelmed, and often carrying a lot more than they realize. Using CBT, EMDR, and emotional regulation techniques, I help clients identify what's actually triggering their reactions, shift the thought patterns fueling them, and develop healthier ways to express what they're feeling. We'll also look at how anger is showing up in your relationships, because that's usually where it does the most damage. The goal isn't to stop feeling angry. It's to stop letting it run the show.

By helping individuals connect their irrational beliefs to their ineffectual and sometimes violent consequence, you will learn to take control of your anger and not allow it to control you. Using the ABC's of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we will explore how activating events in your life and your belief systems or your schema trigger your emotional and behavioral consequences. Additionally, using a pulse oximeter we will explore the effects of anger on your body and learn how to de-flood your system while learning self soothing techniques.

Do you find you have difficulty managing outbursts of anger? Or are you more prone to bottling your anger and sitting on it for hours or weeks on end allowing it to fester? Both of these are common responses to anger, and neither are beneficial. Anger management therapy can benefit you by helping you to learn that you can control the way in which you respond to your anger. Through exploring the underlying reasons for your anger you will gain useful knowledge to help you recognize your triggers. Furthermore, through mindfulness and cognitive behavioral approaches you will learn to channel your anger in a more productive way.

You don’t have to feel angry all the time. Sometimes anger is obvious, and causes emotional, family and legal issues. Sometimes anger is less obvious, resulting in self-destructive or passive-aggressive behaviors. While you are learning about the source of your anger and in order to heat you must develop techniques to keep the anger from boiling over into rage. Talking and exploring ways to redirect potentially destructive behaviors and thoughts relieves the anger and promotes healing and healthy emotions

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.