Great Couples Counseling in Lomita, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Over the years, the couples change. The spark, the feeling you have around each other--it changes. Every couple is different, but simply put, I help couples experience more connection and meaning in their relationships. Together with your partner I will help you navigate conflict, communicate in a deeper way, build connection (emotionally, spiritually, and sexually). I work with the couples ranging from never having been in therapist's office to couples who have "done couples therapy before", wherever you find yourselves--I'm here to help. Contact me today and let's see how we can get you and your relationship to a better place.

Married, dating, heterosexual, gay, or bisexual? I specialize in emotional intimacy, sex, addiction, and trauma, any of which can derail a relationship. You can heal your relationship or end it. I can help either way. Improve communication and handle conflicts better. Get your emotional baggage out of the way so it doesn’t hurt your relationship. Better for the couple and especially better when there are kids. Have kids and you’re divorcing? You’re still tied together. We can make that less damaging for everyone. Kids do better when their divorced parents work together for the kids’ best interest – dealing with emotions and communication better and not putting kids in the middle.

Is this you? All we do is fight! It seems like we never hear each other and neither of us listens anymore! It is so frustrating I do not want to come home and try. I have been successfully helping couples to develop the tools necessary to communicate effectively for more than 20 years. Having disagreements is not unusual. Learning how to resolve disagreements is a key element to healthy relationships. Conflict resolution is about learning to fight fairly by listening in an atmosphere of Respect, Trust, Safety and love and not placing my desire to be right over the relationship.

I specialize in couples and marriage counseling. My most successful approach involves helping couples identify and then change circular patterns of interacting with each other. To change these patterns, I teach new effective communication skills as well as new problem-solving skills in a 9-step program called "Conflict to Connection."

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples therapy combines techniques from the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. After gathering a comprehensive history about your relationship, we will specify goals and work to build strong emotional alliances. The goal is to help lead you to a deeper understanding of each other, and then move toward more effective problem solving and accountability for communicating your needs within the relationship.

Couples' therapy is a particular love of mine. The bond between intimate partners is compelling, powerful and hard-wired for us mammals, and the pain of missing our connections with one another is deep. Together, we can discover the patterns that don't work, and then join to find ways to reach out and respond to one another that bring security and joy.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Many couples present in distress with a strong desire to enhance their relationships. I like to work with communication styles as well as explore some old patterns of relating that may have their history in early childhood experiences with their own families. Being able to identify these old patterns of relating to a significant other can help couples to understand why they bring these old patterns into their current relationship. After these patterns are identified, new ways of relating and communicating are explored and practiced. Listening skills and acceptance are important areas of exploration throughout therapy as well. Couples find new & satisfying ways of relating with each other.

When working with couples, I focus on helping partners feel like they are on the same team again. Together, we’ll identify unhelpful patterns, address past hurts, and build healthier ways of communicating and connecting. Whether you’re struggling with infidelity, intimacy, parenting, or ongoing conflict, I provide a supportive space where both partners feel heard and valued. My goal is to help you rebuild trust, strengthen emotional closeness, and create a relationship that feels safe and fulfilling.

The main thing I notice couples coming in for is to work on trust issues, communication problems, and lack of intimacy within the relationship. This can manifest into anger, affairs, shutting down, and a number of other behaviors. I work with couples FIRST on what does work, so that they can build upon skills they already possess within their relationship. 2: Teaching basic listening skills so that partners feel heard. 3: Teaching the couples how to communicate without attacking. 4: implementing those skills at home. Therapy is much more complex than this, and there are many more aspects of communication, but building strengths is very important to relationship success.

When couples wish to work through their relationship difficulties, or do premarital couples therapy, they will find my office to be a safe, nonjudmental, and encouraging space. You will colaborate with your spouse, and prioritize issues you'd like to discuss. You will explore your own ability for acceptance and tolerance of your spouse's behavior. We will work together on communication skills, and styles, we'll try to soften the dialogue. We'll learn about problem solving skills with which husband and wife are heard. If there are sexual problems, I have experience in treating sex addiction, internet pornography addiction, and the affect of extended families on your relationship.

Couples counseling is an amazing experience. Your relationship is my client and I will work closely with both of you to identify the relational dance you participate in, and how we can interrupt the negative patterns you engage in, and instead promote healthier ways of connecting and attaching. Couples therapy can be a really fun and pleasurable experience where you get to know more about your partner and also about your self. Couples therapy works in a stage process. I will be there along each step of the way helping to make sure that you guys are connecting. I will help to empower you both so that you may enhance and strengthen your most important relationship!