Great Couples Counseling in Upland, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples counseling is becoming more common since people are postponing marriage and choosing to live together, before marriage. Both choices have there difficulties, and we are equipped to work with people who are at any stage in their relationship. We guide clients toward their goals, educating them to better understand the reasons they are having difficulty.

Most couples come in seeking better communication. I will work with you to communicate effectively and in a manner that is respectful and compassionate in regards to your significant other's own story. Together we will look at your style of connecting or not connecting with one another and work to increase connection. I also work successfully with many couples who experience infidelity and are seeking to re-build their relationship. Pre-marital counseling is available for couples who are thinking of marrying or on their way to the altar.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

I have been helping couples heal their relationships for more than 29 years. Effective therapy includes developing a clear understanding of the different family "cultures" couples have been raised in, and a clear perspective of how early hurts and pain can be re-triggered by the current marital or couple relationship. Communication skills are essential for working through chronic or immediate pain a couple is experiencing together--and empathy for the each other's perspective is at the heart of those skills. It is also essential to know when a relationship has the potential to open up and grow, and when development together is no longer currently possible due to abuse or excessive hostility

As a Marriage and Family Therapist I am a relationship expert and delight in helping couples to see past their differences to their desire to make their relationship a safe and enjoyable place. I am trained in Emotionally Focused Couples' Therapy (EFT.) Of all the currently used theories regarding couples' therapy, EFT has the best outcomes for couples with 7:10 couples showing improvement over a three-year period.

Married or not, romantic relationships are hard work! Whether you’ve been working on yourselves individually and are looking to now come together and work-or you’re here for the couples and individual work in a combined session, I’m here to support your needs as a couple to find out what it’s like to like each other again. I work to support you in navigating both the typical and unexpected life events as a couple, helping you heal from past wounds and develop new habits towards each other. Are you ready to stop the crazy cycle? Let’s get started.

My approach couples therapy is to help initiate change and nurture development in intimate relationships between couples. My usual goals of family therapy are improving the communication, solving deeper relational problems, understanding and handling special family situations, and creating a better functioning home environment. I use a psychodynamic sytematic approach to treatment to help the couple get a better understanding of healthy boundaries and relational patterns and dynamics; Enhanced communication; Improved problem solving; Deeper empathy;Reduced conflict and better anger management skills.

The general goal is to reduce conflict and increase intimacy. In the safety of therapy, and with a trained professional as a third party, you each will have the opportunity to learn about yourself in depth, in addition to gaining insights into the complex dynamics of your relationship. The increasing of knowledge, communication skills, and relational tools can combine to create the intimacy and connection that is so necessary in marriage.

Your primary relationship should be a "recharging station" to recover from the stresses of everyday life. When your relationship is the SOURCE of your stress, it can be an overwhelming problem. Oftentimes, the stress leads to angry outbursts, addictive behaviors, dishonesty, and even infidelity. The good news is, that if the partners are motivated, amazing progress can be made. Our first task is to reduce tension so communication and trust can be restored. I provide objectivity in a balanced atmosphere. And trust me, over the course of my career working with couples, I've heard everything - your problems are probably more common than you think. You CAN overcome them!

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

The purpose of couples therapy is to restore an enhanced level of functioning in couples who experience relationship distress. This distress can result in poor communication skills, incompatibility, or a broad spectrum of psychological disorders that include domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety or other issues. You should be advised that honesty, providing all necessary information, cooperation, keeping appointments on time, and a sincere desire for change and improvement are all imperative to increase your chances of a successful outcome. Additionally, a willingness to work "towards" and "with" the process of treatment is essential. When you call me to begin the process, we learn about your relationship's traits and work together to...(view profile to read more)

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

If your marriage is in serious trouble, or if you just want to make it better ... don't wait. I offer a unique marriage counseling program designed to get to know your partner on a deeper level and get beyond old hurts. Homework is given weekly. A professional working with couples will help first to clarify the main issue brought to the first session. Usually there is much more going on between two people, and a therapist will help the two dig alittle deeper. Maybe old anger is a roadblock....or resentments. Unforgiveness is a big stummbling block. You will decide what you want to change, improve upon, and goals you wish to obtain for your relationship.

Do you feel like you can't communicate with your partner? Do you feel mistreated? Married or not, differences still exist and can be dealt with. You're not alone! We create a custom made system that fits your life to bring the greatest results. We use a test to discover your temperament and find where the differences are. Call us now to see how we can help you repair your relationship and live happy.

Much of the couples work I do is in understanding the core issues that are causing problems in the relationship. Often things like differences in expectations, problems with communication, issues related to intimacy, and difficulties related to trust and safety can cause a friction. My goal is to help you get to the root of the issue and discover new more effective ways of showing up with your partner. Positive change is possible.

Couples counseling is a wonderful opportunity to truly connect. Learning new ways of bonding with our partners is much easier than you may think and I believe it is truly a must in any relationship. I don't want to force partners in but rather encourage them to see the potential that exists within your relationship. My reality over the years is that you are going to get stuck at some point. That's ok. We just need to help you through it. Individual needs cannot be sacrificed and truly do not have to be. Let's see what we can do together.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

Affordable couples workshops are offered once a month! Couples want to raise their relationship to a HIGHER LEVEL OF LOVE! Today there are tools to guide couples to improve communication, learn how to be a team, resolve problems without escalating, and regain their sexual desire, attraction and passion, when they both feel heard, supported and close. When relationships become stuck at a lower level of love couples lost desire and attraction, can't communicate with depth, and feel like adversaries on opposite teams! We build our whole lives on love, why settle! Dr. Wheeler has written several books (on amazon) that teach couples tools for heart-centered love!

Many of us can remember the frustrations, hurts, and joys experienced in a loving relationship. Often couples can become confused with the variety of emotions and complicated interpersonal interactions. A counselor can help a couple avoid the pitfalls that can destroy a relationship and help a couple to establish healthy bonding and boundaries within effective communication to enhance and maintain a healthy relationship. For those in an unhealthy relationship, counseling can help an individual understand their need for change, setting boundaries, and maintaining safety for themselves and for other family members.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.