Family Counseling Services in View Park Windsor Hills, CA.

A family is not just a collection of people. Everyone in the family impacts the family dynamic, how the people relate to each other. And, each person changes that dynamic, in a unique way, even when they may not intend to. If you’re having difficulties in your family, we can address how the family’s rules of relating and the patterns of relationships can help to make things better. We’ll also see how unproductive patterns can be eliminated.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Family therapy sessions aim to strengthen all members of the family so they can work out problems together. Often, if one family member is identified as having an illness, the cause can be traced back to a larger family problem. If the person with the illness is treated while the rest of the family does not change, then the symptoms will persist. Family therapy breaks these cycles by teaching everyone to better interact with one another.

Everyone has a family, even if no two families are identical. Family may mean different things to different people, but there is no denying that the relationships we have shape us as individuals. Some families have healthy traits and some have more toxic traits. In my family work, I aim to help to uncover systems both that are working, and systems that are not working. I also aim to help each member of the family feel heard in asking for their own needs and boundaries to be met, appropriate within the family and cultural context.

Families enter therapy for different reasons. Many families are seeking help for an immediate problem or crisis, while others need support changing long standing negative patterns. Family therapy can be beneficial as, it provides opportunities to identify and build on strengths, improve communication, and better understand roles and dynamics that shape the family system. I have experience working with families in crisis and am skilled at assisting parents and children/adolescents increase positive communication and connectivity.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

In a society that has become extremely technological, many sensitive young adults have disconnected from nourishing relationships in favor of virtual ones. Connecting with parents, siblings, friends and neighbors, has been replaced by less emotionally fulfilling forms of interaction. My specialty is improving relationships. I can help you build better communication with your child. I can also assist your family in resolving issues from the past for a fresh start. I will support you in creating a more peaceful home environment. So, as difficult as things may seem right now, in working with me your can rest assured that better times ahead.

When our relationship becomes unhappy, it always affects and impacts the entire family. Working with couples to improve the relationship is important but we cannot overlook the impact to the family. In family therapy we explore problems that have negatively impacted the family from wherever it has come. We will help each member of the family to understand what is happening, how it has impacted them and explore methods of adjustment and remediation. We will identify problems and work to resolve them.

In working with families, we will collaborate on addressing the couple's need to be in charge. Family rules and boundaries are sometimes unclear to children. We will work together to communicate your expectations. When acting out, underachievement, conduct problems, defiant or oppositional behaviors present in the children, the the parents need to be on the same page. Your family will learn, insession, preferred communicatin styles; empathic listening, group problem solving skills, tolerance, respect and acceptance of each other. Family members will learn to interact without anger, resentment, sarcasm or disrespect. Parents need to be authoritative without being authoritarian.

We need our families. If your family is in danger of disconnecting or falling apart, let's work together to lean toward each other instead of away. No one family member is ever the cause of disfunction. We each must learn our responsibility in the mix. My approach to healing families is to help each member understand how they absorb stress, and explain it to the group in a way that will be heard. Our family is our home base. Let's keep it that way by learning empathy for each other's struggles.

Do you find yourself overwhelmed and frustrated with your daily family routines? Do conversations often lead to arguments and hurt feelings? Would you like a more enjoyable fun-loving family relationship? If so, I can help. I provide support with managing daily challenges & helping you reach family goals. I believe in a systemic approach, so sessions can include you, your child, your spouse or any combination of family members. During sessions we can address specific issues like: staying calm during disagreements or tantrums, establishing routines, decreasing arguments & improving communication. We can also work on broader goals like bringing more fun & cohesiveness to your family unit.

When I work with families, a large focus of the work is learning to communicate with each other. It is also learning to hold space for one another and heal attachment wounds. My space is nonblaming and nonjudgemental. I am always aware of the power dynamics in the room. When I work with minors, I like to involve family members. That can be a caregiver or other family members.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161