Anger Management and Counselling in Kingston, ON.

While anger is one of our five basic emotions, it is often the one that gets the worst rap. Anger makes people uncomfortable, and for understandable reasons. When we are angry, our brains go off-line and there is no reasoning with us. We are illogical, we are loud, we might yell or swear or blame others. Frustration is often a cause of anger, but it’s not the only root cause. Stress also plays a critical role in anger building up. Thankfully there are a lot of great concrete strategies that can help lessen the intense flames that burn within. Having a fire extinguisher is not necessary… just a quick call to a therapist will do.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger can feel like an emotional experience that we have no control over. In therapy, you can explore the root causes of anger and how it impacts your life, your experiences, and your relationships. You can learn skills to effectively respond to anger, ground yourself when feeling angry, and de-escalate when anger is impacting your relationships. I work with individuals, couples and families. Book a free consultation to explore if we are a good fit for therapy.

If anger has a hold on you and your life, therapy can help you feel free again. I can help you learn the necessary skills to manage overwhelming emotions that arise due to anger and help you identify the roots of your anger. Therapy can also help a person address underlying emotions and memories that may be contributing to the distress. With time and patience, anyone can learn to control their anger, and I am here to help you through this journey.

Anger is really the outward expression of internal pain. Often it is easier to be angry than to feel painful emotions such as sadness, loss, and grief. But it is not easy to work through the underlying foundations of anger. By recognizing and understanding the feelings that are driving your anger, I can help you get to the bottom of your anger issues and support positive change in your life.

If you have had a history of explosive, aggressive outbursts that are out of proportion with the stressors around you, you might benefit from anger management counseling. I can help you decrease the overall intensity and frequency of angry feelings, and increase your ability to recognize an appropriately express angry feelings as they occur. You will develop an awareness of current angry behaviors, clarifying origins of and alternatives to aggressive anger. You will come to an awareness and acceptance of angry feelings while developing better control and more peace.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

My approach to anger is that it is an emotional response based on thoughts that are often irrational and habitual. The thoughts can be so fleeting and difficult to detect that they become automatic and feel as though the anger springs fully formed out of nowhere. But anger can be controlled if its origins are understood. Often, it is a learned response based on watching our parents and other formative influences in our lives handle problems. We can be socialized to be angry. It can feel empowering at times if it is directed outward toward injustice and hurt, but it can also be directed inward or misplaced because we perceive injustice and hurt where it does not exist.

Anger issues can be very destructive to relationships, careers and your health. Even though anger may have initially been used as way to help feel more powerful in the moment, it often leaves you feeling powerLESS in that it often feels like the anger is controlling you rather than you controlling it. It also becomes ineffective as a "problem solving" strategy in the long run. Anger usually hurts more than it helps. I will help you understand you anger - what causes it and why you fall into it so often - and provide the tools and support you need to overcome this issue. Anger may be trauma-based and I take a trauma-informed approach to therapy in general.

Anger is a natural emotion, that often comes secondary to the initial emotion. Anger is a behavioural response to unmet needs, not being heard, not listening to the primary emotions, and/or not voicing your concerns. Counselling may help you slow down the behavioural response and focus on performing more effective behaviours (e.g., communication). Through improved self-awareness, identifying emotions, addressing thinking patterns, and having behavioural options improvements can be seen. If individuals are willing to put in the work, they can lead more fulfilling lives and develop better personal and professional relationship.