Great Couples Counselling in Castlegar, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

My approach to couples work is rooted in Attachment Theory and draws heavily on the work of Sue Johnson’s Emotion Focused Therapy. After years of working with couples who are stuck in conflict, I agree with Sue Johnson that it is the painful patterns or dance that couples get stuck in that is the key to resolution. For me, helping couples understand and identify the larger patterns rather than getting mired in detail, is hugely satisfying because it helps empower them to recognize, in the moment, what is happening and to make different choices.

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression (from the most sensual "vanilla" to the raunchiest kink) welcome.

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

Our training includes the Gottman Model for couples therapy, which is well-grounded in research. Couples learn how to rebuild their friendship, communicate in a way that does not make the conflict worse, and build emotional intimacy. Relationships are like plants; if we forget to feed the plant every day, it starts to wilt and will eventually die. Indeed, with the demands of our daily lives, our relationships tend to take a back seat - at first, our relationships seem to endure; however, over time, the lack of priority starts to show. We will give you the tools and skills needed to feel satisfied in how you communicate with your spouse, and increase your commitment to one another.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.