Great Couples Counselling in Clearview, ON. Therapy to heal relationships.

Shauna provides a well structured attachment based couple therapy that is systemic, psychotherapeutic, and experiential. Negative patterns of interaction that often include misunderstandings of one's partner's experience, emotions, and intentions are carefully unpacked while the original bond of safety and care is re-established. Relationships become more loving, healthy and satisfying.

I work to establish trust in both partners by setting boundaries of confidentiality and privacy especially when there is a need to clarify safety of each and to process any "secrets" that may impede successful open communication. Family history does impinge on marital dynamics and can interfere with emotional reactions from past family scripts that can surge into the present affecting communication Personal space boundaries and accountability are the basis of openness and respectful trust the linchpin of building on love that changes from physical chemistry to support for the other. Some common interests and passion for living well is the goal for both. Controlling behavior is called out.

Like every individual, each relationship is unique and complex in its own way. It is important that both partners feel safe and understood in the therapeutic process. Drawing largely from Emotionally Focused Therapy, I seek to help couples get to the heart of the issues and find the connection, love and understanding they need. We make space for each partner to share, be understood and seen and also to see and understand the other. EFT is evidence based and one of the best couples therapies out there!

In the downtown Toronto area, people come to see me for help with marital and couples-related conflicts. I am very comfortable helping couples who are in straight, gay, or lesbian relationships. Conflicts often come up between partners in relation to difficulties with intimacy, conflicts surrounding extended family members, and disagreements around family goals and priorities.

Couples counselling focusses on enhancing your relationship with your partner. You may do this type of therapy with, or without, your partner. Benefits to your relationship still can come from attending couples sessions on your own, such as, improving communication skills, developing assertiveness, overcoming resentments, improving intimacy, learning new ways to deal with your partner. When attending with your partner: * Learning how each of you are in relationships (early influences, patterns, self-defeating styles) * Increasing self-expression * Learning constructive ways to argue and fight * Better understanding of the each other (who you are really dealing with)

All relationships struggle at times. These struggles often interfere with a couples ability to feel safe and connected within their relationship. Rebuilding safety and connection restores relationships. It is through this restoration process that long lasting change is achieved. It is my privilege to work with couples to help them understand what they want from their relationship, how to get it and most importantly how to keep it.

We all want to love, be loved, and connect with our significant others. Yet, it can feel daunting at times, due to repetitive relationship patterns (influenced by our childhood wounding), poor communication skills, cultural/gender differences, and inability to negotiate “me” with “we”. So be it past trauma, poor communication skills, inability to handle stress, different upbringing (thereby different ways of doing things), or sexual challenges, among other things, I help couples identify the areas/habits which challenge them, behaviors which destroy relationships, and anything else that stands in the way of them achieving an intimate connection.

In couples my role is as a third party to provide guidance and advice to the couple. The main area that i often work with during couples counselling is communication. The couple is provided with specific education and instruction on communication strategies. During session we work through the difficulties that the couple is having. They are also provided with specific strategies to work on in between sessions.

Relationship counselling can comprise of issues related to: communication, conflict/ separation, commitment, blended family, infidelity, parenting, same sex, and more. The goal of couples counseling is to target the main concern for each or one of the individuals involved. Next, the couple will work with a therapist to identify each individual’s accountability for both positive and negative contributions to a relationship. The critical point is acknowledging ways each individual can make improvements alone and how the couple can work to progress together in the relationship. Most couples can benefit from a check-in and restructuring of wants and needs, before an intervention is necessary.

Day in and day out for the last twenty-five years I have worked with couples both as a seminar trainer and as a therapist. I love seeing couples transformed as they find their way back to love and to each other. All couples struggle! The wise ones seek help! While all successful couples do similar things . . . broken relationships can be broken in a myriad of ways. It is my job to come a long side the couple to resolve, heal and recover. I love working with couples to develop communication and conflict resolutions skills. When couples come to me honestly seeking help and committed to put effort into their recovery the outcomes are nothing short of wonderful!

Are you unhappy in your relationship? Would you like to learn how to treasure each other again? There are many ways to improve things between you and restore caring, IF you are both committed to the outcome. I believe in the work of Harville Hendrix and also in the value of agreeing to disagree sometimes, and to work around it. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves as well as to our loved ones. Let's get started -- the sooner the better for the health of your relationship.

Couples Counselling Most relationships will become strained at some point and will begin producing maladaptive patterns. Relationship problems are rooted in our distorted egos, insecure attachment, emotional immaturity etc., which create to the many issues that develop for couples - infidelity, financial stress, poor communication, ill health, sexual divergence, household responsibility conflicts, addictions, etc., .... or just simply growing apart. Relationships can often be restored if help is sought soon enough. A counsellor can help reorient perceptions and emotions (how we look at a situation and how we feel about it) and assist the couple in adopting conscious structural changes.

Trying to navigate through relationships can be difficult. Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. My approach helps couples build stronger communication by engaging in exercise that require increases awareness and compassion. Furthermore, couples are encouraged to develop more effective coping mechanisms to deal with conflict within the relationship.

I often hear 'Why would I go to a couples counselor? I know the problem and will figure out how to solve it.' This is logical but does not work. Why? A lot of the information you need is in the unconscious and unavailable to you. As an example, you do not realize that when your parents did not respond to your emotional needs you decided, at a young age, not to let anyone know those needs as you would only be disappointed and hurt. This negatively effects your relationships. Since I offer a free consultation I suggest we meet to help you see areas, that you ae unaware of, that need to be worked on for the kind of relationship you deserve.

All relationships go through ups and downs but seeing a trained and experienced therapist can make a big difference in how situations get resolved. We have over a decade of experience helping couples improve their communication, find healthy ways to manage conflict, go through life transitions together, get their parenting styles on the same page, address trust issues, deal with lack of intimacy or sexual issues, recover from extra marital affairs, manage the division of labor for household responsibilities and many many other issues. We approach each situation uncovering and building on peoples’ strengths, helping them to reach successful resolutions.

Are you yearning for deeper connection and intimacy in your romantic relationship? Has your relationship or sexual intimacy become a minefield of tension and disconnection? Life is stressful, busy and tied to the non-stop online world. I can help you untangle from all the stress, distraction and indifference. I will help you get back on track. I offer a safe place to reflect on your unmet needs and dreams for your relationship. I will help you express yourself in a way that your partner can hear and build a deep connection based on mutual understanding and respect.

Couples come together for a reason–from a point of deep commitment or even for practical reasons–both by choice. Some come together for more fleeting reasons–even by chance. However it begins, couples evolve–either to create a resilient bond or to find themselves in conscious or unconscious division. All are tried by adversity, change, and time. Even accumulating stress of the daily humdrum can blind the vision of ‘us.’ Couples are unique. My role is to challenge communication, to help couples define their bottom-line: to accept what is; define limits of tolerance and compromise; respectfully support a new reality if resilience is not found; or to see the contentment in finding a way back.

Being part of a couple comes with its challenges. The stress of everyday life can result in conflict that seems unsolvable. Couples counselling can help partners interact better, work through problems together and move past them. Collaboratively we will work on your therapy goals as a couple. Using emotionally focused therapy (EFT), we will look at skills and techniques of changing patterns of communication, interaction, and emotional connection.

Are you feeling frustrated, powerless or alone? Are you struggling to feel heard and understood. At the beginning of your relationship, you probably didn't imagine that loneliness would be a part of your coupled life. Our work will help you to rediscover the trust you once had. You will learn how being vulnerable and intimate with each other enables you respond to each other in a way that helps solidify a secure future together.

An integral human need is to love and feel loved. Couples often get caught up in negative reactive patterns that lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, anger, sadness and defeat. Couples counselling can help to create more intimacy and deeper connection, while also leading to individual growth and awareness.

One of the most detrimental problems that I have seen in Family Therapy is when parents become so overwhelmed by life, inundated by the responsibilities with their children (hockey, karate, tutoring, piano, etc), and consumed in running the household that they forget about the relationship that they have with their spouse. I hear things like “I don’t even know my husband anymore”, “there just isn’t any time left for us”, “we are growing apart”, or “we can’t agree on anything; not the kids, not the house, not the dog… help!” All is not lost and there are ways to learn to balance all of the aforementioned intricacies of a family dynamic. You don’t have to hold it all together by yourself.

Couples seeking therapy to address the stress, conflicts, and tensions they experience in their relationship can rest assured knowing therapy is an excellent approach to learning ways to rebuild the relationship, improve connection, decrease conflict, learn communication strategies, work through financial conflict and improve intimacy. In therapy we can also address any issues with infidelity and betrayal. I am also a polyamorous and kink friendly therapist and assure my clients that I respect and accept your lifestyle. I provide a safe non judgmental space where you do not have to worry about shame or embarrassment.

All relationships hit rough patches from time to time. However couples who have the skills to identify and talk in a mature and calm manner are able to manage these rough patches before they become mighty marriage mountains to scale. When couples struggle to communicate, be active and present participants in their relationship, take responsibility for their part of the problem and the solution we end up with a breakdown of the relationship. It is possible to learn the skills that will improve your relationship. Working on improving communication skills, conflict resolutions and negotiating skills, stress and self management skills and much more will help grow your relationship.

Therapy with couples is amongst the most rewarding aspects of my work as a therapist. Not much gives me greater pleasure than helping couples develop a deeper understanding of both their situation and of one another that leads to a more meaningful and enjoyable shared life. In my experience, couples can make incredible progress when both parties are motivated to improve the quality of their relationship and learn to love one another in healthier, more fulfilling ways.

Dr. Van Blyderveen offers Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples. This approach is evidence based and has a greater success rate than traditional couple's therapy. Therapy will focus on improving communication through creating and strengthening your emotional bond with one another. During therapy sessions Dr. Van Blyderveen will guide you and your partner through emotional conversations with one another with the goal of improving closeness, connection, and acceptance of one another.