Great Couples Counselling in Toronto, ON. Therapy to heal relationships.

I work with couples in the framework of the gold standard of couples work, Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. Empirically validated, it is the most contemporary method to bring relief to distressed relationships, and a loss of connection. Clients benefit from having their patterns of behaviour brought out into the open so they can have relief that "it takes two" and that we are not alone in our couples relationships.

When we run into problems in our intimate relationships, there is usually a negative pattern that has evolved. This can be painful and undermining to our connection with our partner. My first job is to help you identify and understand this pattern. Then, I will help each of you to unpack the feelings and beliefs underlying it. In the safety of my office, I will help you learn to communicate on a more intimate level. In this way, you can begin to disarm the triggers that lead to misunderstandings. Once again, you will feel you are there for one another. And you will feel a renewed sense of security in the life you share together.

Couples may encounter difficulties in relationship because of differences in their families of origin, underyling personal issues or differences in goals and expectations. Counseling will help couples understand what triggers conflict in their relationship and learn more effective strategies of resolving difficulties in a way that satisfies both individuals and strengthens their bond.

In the downtown Toronto area, people come to see me for help with marital and couples-related conflicts. I am very comfortable helping couples who are in straight, gay, or lesbian relationships. Conflicts often come up between partners in relation to difficulties with intimacy, conflicts surrounding extended family members, and disagreements around family goals and priorities.

Relationships are one of the most fulfilling experience a person can have in their life. Couples may find themselves faced with challenges that are not always identifiable and can cause you to question your relationship. Couples therapy can provide guidance, support and help you build upon your relationship/bond with your partner, and strengthen the connection that the two of you have so that you can continue to enjoy, appreciate your union. I work with couples in all stages of their relationship. I provide a neutral, non- supportive, collaborative environment so that you can feel comfortable to express yourself fully.

When a couple is in trouble, the act of seeking out a counsellor has to be motivated by the desire to stay together through hard work. Therapy is not for those who need it but for those who want it. This is even more true when it comes to working with couples. The journey is one of finding once more what brought them together in the first place. We work with forgiveness and building trust. We find ways for the couple to once again feel a sense of warmth and compassion as we break down the walls of resentment. We look at what is triggering the couple to fight. We go through the anatomy of a common and repetitive fight. i also teach the couple some body centered techniques.

I help clients understand the negative interactional cycles that they find themselves in. After and during this movement towards understanding, we get at the underlying emotions and attachment needs that are so critical to having a safe-haven relationship with one's partner. The goal is to be safe, secure, understood and compassionately held in a love relationship.

Our most intimate relationships are where we are often challenged the most to grow. Much of my work with couples is helping each person feel entitled to their feelings and feel able to advocate for their needs within the relationship. So often we have expectations of how our partner or spouse is supposed to be, how we are supposed to be with them and there are unspoken expectations to navigate between us. These assumptions can easily lead to very destructive patterns that we act out with the person we want to feel the closest to. Our work is to strengthen ourselves from the inside out so that we can meet our partner "full of ourselves" and then find ways to be together that are a win win!

I love working with couples, because often the problems you see as insurmountable are just a problem of communication. People disagree... this is a given. It's HOW you deal with disagreements that makes the difference between a strong marriage and a weak one. I can show you how your current approach to communicating is working against your interests, and give you a better method for getting your needs met in the relationship. This isn't about giving in or compromising. It's about being honest and authentic, and feeling relaxed and fulfilled with your partner.

Couple problems begin when you experience an absence of positive intimate interactions: a knowing smile, an affectionate wink, making the other laugh, a gentle touch or unexpected hug. You start to feel like you are in a room mate relationship. If you are like most couples, as a man, you will tend to experience this by feeling rejected, inadequate, or like a failure. As a woman, you will tend to experience this as feeling abandoned, alone and disconnected. Many couples come for couples therapy long after emotional responsiveness has decreased and when affection is in short supply. I am an EFT Couples Therapist with 30 years of experience helping couples who don't wait until it is too late.

When going through couples counselling, individuals need to feel grounded and safe. Rules and codes of behaviour need to be clearly established so that couples can do the work that is necessary in the relationship. Couples counselling allows both parties to express themselves in front of another person to make sure they are heard in a clear and respectful manner.It ensures that each individual listens to their partner. Ultimately, we need to understand ourselves, our own needs and values as well as our reactions to our partners' in order to make sense of the dynamics that occur in our intimate relationships.When goals are clearly established, we can work toward them in a constructive manner.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

All relationships hit rough patches from time to time. However couples who have the skills to identify and talk in a mature and calm manner are able to manage these rough patches before they become mighty marriage mountains to scale. When couples struggle to communicate, be active and present participants in their relationship, take responsibility for their part of the problem and the solution we end up with a breakdown of the relationship. It is possible to learn the skills that will improve your relationship. Working on improving communication skills, conflict resolutions and negotiating skills, stress and self management skills and much more will help grow your relationship.