Great Couples Counselling in Toronto, ON. Therapy to heal relationships.

In working with couples, I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. This approach looks at the cycle or emotional dance that occurs within a couple relationship and it seeks to understand how one partner's emotions fuel their behaviors or coping mechanisms, which impact the other partners emotions and so on. Often couples get stuck in an emotional dance of disconnection which becomes polarizing as they each continue to push the other away. Couples often end up in my office once the disconnection has resulted in an affair which has been caught or some other attachment injury. Hope is found once the dance is understood. This initial deescalation can happen in as little as 1-2 sessions.

Find yourself in a rut? Having the same arguments over and over again? Relationships are inherently challenging. While intimate connection feeds some of our deepest human needs, it also confronts our deepest insecurities. From conflict and poor communication to emotional distance and infidelity, the core of many relational issues are often rooted in our own attachment patterns. By assisting couples in moving past the content of their disagreements to the issues that underly them, I help clients to not only address their present concerns, but to transform their way of being in relationship in general.

One of the biggest decisions we make in life is choosing our partner. And then the real work begins. Divorce rates speak to how difficult sustaining a healthy marriage can be. Evidence-based studies have shown essential elements to a healthy and nourishing relationship. Couples counselling focuses on a variety of these areas including, communication, conflict management/resolution, and connection. Presenting issues include communication, conflict, infidelity, parenting issues, separation and divorce.

When one person is leaning out of the relationship and the future of the relationship is uncertain, discernment counseling provides clarity and confidence in order to make a decision about how to move forward. It is a short term intervention where both partners are supported to gain understanding about the issues in their relationship, and based on that understanding, make a choice about whether try to move forward as a couple or not. It is not couples therapy and "fixing" the relationship is not the goal. Discernment counseling is like taking a step back in order to help each partner assess if repairing the relationship is a feasible and worthwhile endeavor.

All relationships hit rough patches from time to time. However couples who have the skills to identify and talk in a mature and calm manner are able to manage these rough patches before they become mighty marriage mountains to scale. When couples struggle to communicate, be active and present participants in their relationship, take responsibility for their part of the problem and the solution we end up with a breakdown of the relationship. It is possible to learn the skills that will improve your relationship. Working on improving communication skills, conflict resolutions and negotiating skills, stress and self management skills and much more will help grow your relationship.

Seeing a couples therapist is often stigmatized as "the beginning of the end" of a relationship. More often than not, however, it's a way to open up channels of communication between two people (sometimes members of a company) so that they may understand what's going on, and how they might be contributing to it. I also recognize a systems approach to couples therapy, and encourage working with the individuals in a relationship as well as together.

I offer couples the opportunity to explore the root causes of their relationship concerns within a safe, supportive environment. As an objective third party, I am able to facilitate enhanced communication between the couple to help them develop greater objectivity, learn to hear and meet one another’s needs more effectively, and overcome automatic defenses that may be hindering their connection to strengthen and restore their partnership.

I work with couples in the framework of the gold standard of couples work, Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. Empirically validated, it is the most contemporary method to bring relief to distressed relationships, and a loss of connection. Clients benefit from having their patterns of behaviour brought out into the open so they can have relief that "it takes two" and that we are not alone in our couples relationships.

I help clients understand the negative interactional cycles that they find themselves in. After and during this movement towards understanding, we get at the underlying emotions and attachment needs that are so critical to having a safe-haven relationship with one's partner. The goal is to be safe, secure, understood and compassionately held in a love relationship.

When we run into problems in our intimate relationships, there is usually a negative pattern that has evolved. This can be painful and undermining to our connection with our partner. My first job is to help you identify and understand this pattern. Then, I will help each of you to unpack the feelings and beliefs underlying it. In the safety of my office, I will help you learn to communicate on a more intimate level. In this way, you can begin to disarm the triggers that lead to misunderstandings. Once again, you will feel you are there for one another. And you will feel a renewed sense of security in the life you share together.

You can have an even better relationship! I work with you to identify what your issues are. We learn what your communication issues are, what is working and what is not in your relationship and implement practical action plans to improve this. Further, we identify your negative patterns of relating to each other and how this is a habit that hurts the relationship, and we learn how to get out of that pattern, shift behaviors, and relate in the most respectful, loving, kind manner which ultimately often improves your sex life, your happiness, and your fulfillment.

When a couple is in trouble, the act of seeking out a counsellor has to be motivated by the desire to stay together through hard work. Therapy is not for those who need it but for those who want it. This is even more true when it comes to working with couples. The journey is one of finding once more what brought them together in the first place. We work with forgiveness and building trust. We find ways for the couple to once again feel a sense of warmth and compassion as we break down the walls of resentment. We look at what is triggering the couple to fight. We go through the anatomy of a common and repetitive fight. i also teach the couple some body centered techniques.

I use a variety of strategies to help people learn how to nurture and maintain enduring relationships. Using EFT (Emotional Focused Therapy for Couples), along with energetic, cognitive and behavioral strategies, I help people feel, think and act in ways that are most conducive to happiness and harmony in their intimate lives. Often it is more important to repair the process of communication than it is to solve any one issue. Once partners learn how to take care of each other's sensitivities and vulnerabilities, learning to respect rather than change the person they are with, it becomes easier to solve problems and resolve issues.