Great Couples Counselling in Mill Bay, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Shelley helps couples to enhance their communication, create safety and connection, heal past hurts and frustrations, and restore passion and playfulness. Through the Intentional Dialogue couples learn how to hear each other's perspective with compassion and empathy. With Shelley's guidance, couples can gain more understanding and awareness about the conflicts, and explore the dynamics that are stopping them from getting the love that they want. Couples learn to focus on the positive aspects of each other, and build on the strengths of their relationship, as well as work through the issues, in a safe and connected way, which promotes healing and growth.

Couples seek counselling for multiple reasons – from fighting and frustration to affairs or intimacy. Sometimes partners sense their relationship could just be better. Virtually all challenged relationships can be improved with better communications. Together we will explore and expand our communication skills, and practice them in a supportive and safe environment. Talking through the personal issues that each partner brings to the relationship can help couples build intimacy and grow closer.

I specialize in working with couples who are challenged by their adult child's behaviours/mental health and/or addiction. Having an adult kiddo who isn't quite launched, or who struggles to "adult", can cause much embarrassment and shame and it is rarely talked about openly. The secret is that this scenario is far from uncommon. I bring my years of experience of both developing and running groups for "affected others" to my practice of supporting couples as they navigate how to support without enabling. I offer suggestions on how and when to set realistic boundaries. I aim to reduce the guilt couples feel about living a good life while their adult child is struggling.

I am ambivalent about the term "couples counseling" because it elevates a concept and deprecates the individuals. All counseling is individual counseling; couples counseling is counseling two individuals together. The first thing an insightful counselor learns is that the presenting story is never true, it's just the advertisement. Beneath is a complex story, and, with a struggling couple, the plot is no longer following the story line. We will birth the new story. Counseling two people who are enmeshed is the crafting of three stories: what each person needs, and what is the best that can be done together. This is the realm of thoughts and dreams. Truth is the first medicine we take.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

Couples experience a number of challenges that get in the way of optimal relationship functioning. My role is to help families identify how each partner is supporting each other and what patterns are contributing to the “problem”. As a couples therapist, I provide a neutral third party perspective as to these patterns and we can explore the meaning or context behind them. Once we have identified what patterns are impacting the relationship we will develop strategies for more helpful patterns and responses. I utilize therapeutic interventions from the Gottman model, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory, Response-Based Practice, and Narrative Therapy.

Couples therapy does NOT fix your relationship - YOU do. Couples therapy can provide you with the tools to learn how to manage conflict, how to listen, how to address the concerns of your partner, and how to recognize negative communication and conflict patterns. I invite people to learn how to use different conflict and communication models and promote learning how to be accountable for actions, words, and behaviours.

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.

Intimate relationships are the backdrop for intense personal learning and development! To have a better relationship with other, we often need to have a better relationship with self. I will help you and your partner be in relationship more authentically, with a stronger sense of self and differentiation that will ironically help you choose more closeness and intimacy. The relationship you desire is within reach.

For a relationship to really thrive, both people in the relationship need to thrive. I focus on the personal growth of each individual in the couple as the foundation for a healthy and happy life together. By bringing out the unique gifts and qualities of each person, the relationship can have its best chances. Once both people are ready for the work of couples therapy, we can work on communication, intimacy, vulnerability, availability, balance, and showing up for each other.

Embarking on a transformative journey with Eakin Counselling means recognizing and addressing the conflicts that often surface within relationships. I understand the complexities that can strain even the most loving connections. My relationship counseling services serve as companions on this journey, guiding individuals and couples through communication breakdowns, conflicts, and trust issues, ultimately fostering understanding and love. I believe that nurturing strong and healthy relationships is fundamental to a fulfilling life, and our approach to relationship, couples, and marriage counselling is rooted in deep insights, experience, and a profound understanding of the intricate dynamics

Being connected to our partners is a great thing – but this closeness can get so complicated! Intimate partners hold a lot of power to disappoint us. How do we get into sync, and get what we need to stay invested? It is hard to manage disappointment. We can sometimes give up too much, agree to things we don’t want – or we go the other way, and start bullying the other person. Both of those are strategies to preserve your connection. Is your strategy working for you? In counselling, I help you clarify what is going on for you, what you both want, and what you can possibly do to get there. I create a safe, easy space to check out your relationship – it may be more fun than you think!

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Thinking about getting married? Not the marriage type? Together learn more about yourself and the other you want to be with as we explore hopes, dreams, values, and beliefs. Master the art of negotiation and compromise in conflict, as well as the maintenance of healthy boundaries around those "big deal-breaker" issues. Couples of all types of configurations will learn about being an ally for each other as we work towards respect, love, collaborative problem solving and mutual understanding.

It is common to hear, "the key to a better relationship is better communication." That's really not the main problem in most cases. People do know how to communicate - we're extremely verbal and expressive beings. More often than not, however, we don't like the message that's being communicated! When problems erupt in a relationship, it is more likely because there is little "relating" going on. I help couples identify their patterns, reinforce healthy communication skills, and most importantly, find ways to reconnect - to build relationship. When we are connected to another person, many issues and perceived problems cease to exist.

My experience is that we all have a deep and powerful urge to bond emotionally with another who will offer us safety and acceptance. Our first experiences of love and attachment in our families set the scene and form our future expectations and sense of deserving (or not) of care and care-taking. Our Couples and Relationship work will be informed by Sue Johnson's "Emotionally Focused Therapy". We will explore each partner's early experiences of attachment. Slowly and gently we will work toward how to re-capture and ignite the flame of love, care and wonder that first drew you to the other.

Are you and your partner struggling in your relationship? Do you argue a lot and want to learn better communication skills? Sexuality, finances and family are common stressors. Sexuality issues may include lack of desire, cheating, sexual addiction, porn, online sex or polyamory. There may have been sexual abuse, incest or other trauma. Many couples report that intimacy in their relationship is infrequent or has ended and they want to restore it. Anger, resentment, issues from previous relationships may be troubling you. My clients find me easy to talk to and discussion is respectful and frank. Your goal may be to strengthen your bond or maybe you need support to end an unhappy relationship

Couples can get into cycles of negative interaction which lead to more and more pain and hurt. Through Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy couples learn to recognize their feelings and patterns of interaction, and to become more resilient and more empathic to themselves and their partner. With gentle challenge I will help you examine your own stuck places, and then to discover new ways of relating to your partner. Thus you will both shift to more positive patterns of interaction.

Dr Sloat's couples counselling is based on the belief that we are all in this world to be happy, and in order to be happy we must have our needs met. When in relationships, people sometimes fail to get their needs met, and when this happens there is conflict and discord. Dr Sloat helps people to clarify and articulate their needs in relation to their partners, and thus facilitates harmony between them. She does not take sides, but instead focuses on helping partners to renegotiate and/or redefine their relationships such that they become viable on both sides. Also see - http://CouplesCounsellingVictoria.info

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Couples have been studied extensively by amongst others Gottman, and this information helps us to look at where you are, to get a sense of the gaps that exist, and to explore systematically what is possible. If you find that you are fighting all the time, have lost confidence, want to hurt your partner, and you are miserable and feeling alone, you need to step back and take a fresh look. Many couples waste precious time in unsolvable power struggles resulting in broken communication and automatic negative responses. Although you may feel hopeless and don't know what to do, couples do manage to change every day. This is often hard to do and takes time, but can also be magical and rewarding.

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.