Anger Management and Counselling in Tsawwassen, BC.

Personally, I struggle with the term "anger management". Anger is an important emotion that needs to be viewed through a lens of acceptance not barred to a back room. Until a person understands the myriad of emotions that lie under the surface of 'anger', they are often controlled by these emotions, One of the purposes of anger is to alert the emotional person to the fact that something is wrong (much like pain signals the body when something is wrong). People do need to "control" their behaviour - especially when feelings are strong. i believe that people can learn to manage their life better once they understand what is affecting them AND what they want to accomplish by their action.

Anger is a necessary emotion that causes difficulties when the individual copes with anger in an inappropriate fashion. Dr. Rochefort believes that the key to successful anger management is to learn skills to manage distorted thinking and negative behaviours. To accomplish this, one must develop effective problem solving, communication, and distress tolerance skills.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

Anger is a useful emotion. The feeling of anger makes sense in the perspective of the one who is angry. Anger is an appropriate response to injustice or a reaction to being misjudged. Once we are able to determine the interpretation the client has made of the anger-inducing experience, we determine a concrete response to the triggering experience. Anger does not have to be so loud when its trigger is understood from the client's perspective and the energy redirected to a more authentic response.

Do you find yourself yelling at your partner, losing your temper at your children, storming out of the office in a fury of frustration and anger? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that sometimes gets away on a person. Feeling disappointed in yourself when you 'lose your cool' is information that there may be better ways to handle a situation. Together we will work to help you develop the skills to communicate effectively, maintain your authenticity and foster strong, positive relationships.

Expression of healthy anger is important for emotional well-being. The question frequently asked is "What is the difference between expression of healthy anger/frustration versus hurtful behaviour?" Concepts such as these are dealt with during the counselling session. It is important to help the client understands that repressed anger only leads to further health-related challenges. Opening up through writing and/or compassionate dialogue helps the client learn to mange and process his/her/they emotions in a constructive manner. Graphic organizers depicting Anger Mountain and the 5 Point scale help the client begin to notice when his/her/they emotions are escalating.

People often confuse anger management with the impossible task of eliminating anger. Anger is a feeling, and, like all feelings, demands to be felt. My favourite line about this is, "Feelings are like sh--. They have to come out eventually." The key to anger management is to feel the anger, recognize it, and find ways to express and release it safely.

Anger is a normal emotion that is necessary to our survival. However, if anger is controlling you, rather than you controlling it, your anger is likely impacting your relationships and functioning in important parts of your life. Anger management counselling can help you develop techniques for changing the way you think and behave in response to events that trigger you to respond inappropriately. Self-soothing strategies, cognitive-behavioural therapy, and family systems therapy are some interventions that I use to help people manage anger more effectively.

Anger is most often a secondary emotion. I believe our true power is understood when we can recognize the primary emotions underneath the anger. That is when many people begin to feel a stronger sense of control in their lives without feeling like they're fighting for it. I am excited to work on this in counselling and support people in unlocking their most authentic self by digging deeper than the anger on the surface.

When it comes to anger management, we know that there are underlying reasons that trigger our clients to feel frustrated. We work from different modalities that fit best with the client to help them find new ways of dealing with how they feel. We teach them new ways of coping and dealing with everyday stressors. We work collaboratively with the client so that they can feel in control of their emotions again.

Anger often signals that something important inside you needs attention. Beneath it, there may be hurt, fear, frustration, or unmet needs that feel hard to express. You might notice yourself reacting quickly, struggling to communicate clearly, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions that build up and spill over. In therapy, we’ll explore the deeper emotions and patterns driving your anger while also noticing how it shows up in your body. Using a blend of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic approaches, you’ll build greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and more grounded ways of responding in relationships and daily life.