Anger Management and Counselling in Beamsville, ON.

Anger is a difficult emotion to control once it gets started. Stopping anger is like stopping a runaway train after it has a full head of steam. Managing one of the most powerful emotions takes preparation, awareness and containment skills. I have personally written the book on the Eight Steps to Conquering Chronic Anger. It is used monthly at our centre in anger management classes. Anger can be conquered!

Anger can be upsetting not only for the one receiving it but also for the one expressing it. Although we can believe that someone "makes" us angry it is usually our own trigger that fires off. We express anger not just because we feel we have a right to be angry but because we use anger as a way of self protection. It says "back off and leave me alone." Understanding your angry pain can free you from it's grip. I have helped many clients with this difficulty through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and inner child approaches that have proven to be successful in the treatment of anger.

Anger is one of those big emotions that can be tricky to navigate, especially when you are in the heat of the moment. Difficulty managing anger can sometimes lead to reactions that are hurtful to those that we care about the most. It is important to know that anger is not a bad emotion to experience, we just want to be mindful of how we communicate our anger to ourselves and to others. I hold a non-judgemental and safe space for you to explore your relationship with anger and assist you in working towards displaying anger in a way that is more in line with your preferred way of being. Contact me today to book a free consultation.

Anger is a normal human emotion–an essential part of being–something hard-wired and adaptive. It motivates us to take action, keeps us aware, and can bring us to self-reflection. It is a form of communication expressing our true inner feelings. For some, anger becomes an overwhelming, well-engrained, unhealthy habit; a maladaptive, go-to defense mechanism that disrupts communication and paradoxically masks true inner feelings of vulnerability. It takes courage to challenge. But through psychotherapeutic, CBT-based intervention, I take pride in working to help adults unpack the pain, find acceptance through understanding, and seize new coping strategies that will serve them productively.

In my experience of conducting the Men's Anti-violence groups, I can help with "self-regulation" of negative and highly charged feelings of anger and resentment, both in intimate family and work-related areas. My focus is to help people with a "hot-temper" or "short-fuse" by identifying and isolating feelings that may originate and reside in negative family dynamics where "injustice" and unfairness often are at the root of such "pent-up" unexpressed feelings. Or, you were "not allowed" to express such natural and valid feelings. Effective new "habits" are learned as are ways to "control" this reflexive and impulsive behaviour. I have seen positive and healthy change come about as a result.

Anger management is a series of preventative and reactionary steps that help us regulate our emotions. While anger management is about executing these skills, the successful implementation depends on a foundational understanding of what anger is and how it operates in one’s life. Without understanding angers unique roots for each individual, anger management techniques become especially challenging to implement. My approach to anger management involves establishing a foundational understanding of anger by examining personal underlying fears and needs. With this foundation set, the individual is able to integrate a personal understanding of anger consistently with strategies and techniques.

Anger, frustration, rage, and reactivity overall, can make a person feel frustrated and powerless; when we have emotional outbursts of any kind they can feel so all-encompassing and make us feel like we are not in control of feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. In working with clients on their emotions I aim to primarily promote an understanding of why our emotional outbursts occur; once this has been established we begin to work on how to manage, mitigate, or change how these outbursts occur, or why we feel the way that we feel in the first place.

Anger is not necessary an unhealthy emotion. It can give us energy, clarity, and move us toward much needed action. However, when anger becomes habitual it has the power to overtake us and derail our jobs, our relationships, and ultimately, our peace of mind. Anger management therapy is a process which involves self-discovery, emotional processing, stabilizing techniques, and often deep discussions regarding a client's family history and historical processing styles. Yes, anger can be all-consuming, but there is always hope for people who are willing to fight back when their emotions threaten to boil over and consume them.

Anger often comes from a negative place, but for some it is an easy way to express something else that is going on inside. Especially with younger clients, anger management is really about emotion management. With so many emotions it is often difficult to know at a young age how to make sense of everything going on internally. Thus, when I speak with children and youth who are displaying anger, first I seek to discover what it is they are angry about and then help them process the issues and determine if there is really something else they are feeling. Most importantly, I also teach my clients how to recognize different emotions and deal with them effectively.

Anger is often thought of as a negative emotion, but I like to think of Anger as the part of you that loves you and wants to stand up for you when you’ve experienced something “unfair.” Anger does not always make the best decisions about when to stand up for you, so I work collaboratively with clients to identify and explore how anger shows up in their lives, and to strengthen and develop strategies to minimize the impact it has on living the life you want to live. Book a free consultation to learn more about my approach and explore if we are a good fit.

Your goal with other people is to interact effectively. Does anger do that? We know it does not, but we develop habitual trigger responses that can escalate conflict. We need ways to slow down our words and actions until we can focus on our real goal and the best way to reach it. In counselling we take time to explore your thoughts and feelings so that you can figure yourself out to find the right techniques and strategies. Sometimes it can be a matter of trial and error. I help you explore the options and you find what is effective for you.

Working with emotions is a central feature of my therapy practice. I believe that all emotions serve a purpose and that none are essentially bad. However, that said, what we do with our emotions matters very much and learning to recognize, experience, and accept feelings is an important part of learning how to express them effectively. Understanding that anger is often connected to other foundational emotions such as fear or shame is an important part of the process.

Anger can be a difficult emotion for many of us to deal with. It is important to understand that it is not wrong to feel anger and in fact, anger can be a very healthy emotion. In therapy, we work together to first understand the source of your anger and why it shows up in possibly triggering ways. We can then work to find healthier ways to express anger and build better relationships. I also would like to empower you to feel better about your anger by not having to feel guilty about it. Call today and book a free consultation.