Anger Management and Counselling in Milton, ON.

Do you feel like you fail every time you get angry? If you had paid for an anger management course you might be really sore about paying for it and then finding out that you continue to get angry! How about finding out what makes you angry and why it makes you angry through an Understanding Your Own Anger course! In the course you find out what makes you personally tick. Not what makes others tick, but you personally and specifically.

Learning to manage your anger and express it in a healthy and positive way is a process. This process, through therapy or counselling, involves becoming self-aware - or learning where the anger really comes from. And also acquiring the skills or tools to express in a way that is healthy and constructive. I have been doing this work for nearly 30 years and is one of my specialty areas.

It's important to note that anger is like any emotion - it is adaptive, purposeful and supports our learning about what matters to us. As such, using an Emotion-Focused Therapy approach we would explore what anger is like in it's entirety and what values are being challenged that often have people react rather than respond. With a concerted effort to learn to express anger adaptive and assertively, we will learn how to experience emotions wholeheartedly and positive impact our relationships.

Anger is a primary feeling that signals when we perceive that our boundaries are crossed. It is a normal, healthy response that cannot be avoided in relationships. Like a compass, it gives us direction in relating to those around us. For best outcomes, it is essential to learn to deal with our anger using productive and mindful strategies. The healthy expression of anger is not hurtful, aggressive or repressed. Rather, it can be used to deal with conflict and set the parameters for negotiating in healthy ways, making room for everyone’s needs.

Therapy for anger management can be helpful for both your close relationships and the workplace. Therapy integrates strategies to regulate emotion, tolerate distress, and express frustrations in a manner that is respectful. If your anger difficulties occur exclusively within the context of a romantic relationship, couple’s therapy or therapy with a couple’s therapist can be particularly helpful. New Leaf Psychology Centre also offers anger management therapy for children and youth.

Anger is like an iceberg. It is only the tip. The other nine-tenths remains hidden and unknown. We need to connect with the nine-tenths, or the primary feelings such as hurt, pain, guilt, shame and fear. I will work with you to unearth your primary feelings and to devise alternative ways to manage your feelings. A good book for you to read is Hold Me Tight by Susan Johnson, especially the chapter "Recognizing the Demon Dialogues."

Anger is a completely normal, often healthy human emotion. But if it gets beyond your control, it can be very destructive in your work and interpersonal relationships and can drastically devastate the quality of your life. Fortunately, anger can be 'managed' which is very different than 'suppressing' it. Unexpressed anger leads to a host of other problems including high blood pressure. However, when we learn how to 'manage' our anger, we can learn to diminish both the emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. We can learn to avoid triggers and develop strategies. We can learn how to problem solve, change our thinking and relax our bodies.

Whether you struggle with explosive anger; tend to be reactive and defensive or take things too personally; find yourself feeling resentful, bitter or irritable; tend to collapse or give up in the face of conflict; or bottle things up only to have them resurface later in inappropriate ways, our team can help. Accepting your feelings and body sensations as valuable information; identifying the underlying causes, triggers, and cues of your anger; learning emotion and impulse regulation skills; expressing your feelings and needs more effectively; and setting healthy boundaries assertively are important skills to help you understand, embody and channel your anger in healthy ways.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.