Great Couples Counselling in Metchosin, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples have been studied extensively by amongst others Gottman, and this information helps us to look at where you are, to get a sense of the gaps that exist, and to explore systematically what is possible. If you find that you are fighting all the time, have lost confidence, want to hurt your partner, and you are miserable and feeling alone, you need to step back and take a fresh look. Many couples waste precious time in unsolvable power struggles resulting in broken communication and automatic negative responses. Although you may feel hopeless and don't know what to do, couples do manage to change every day. This is often hard to do and takes time, but can also be magical and rewarding.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.

I am ambivalent about the term "couples counseling" because it elevates a concept and deprecates the individuals. All counseling is individual counseling; couples counseling is counseling two individuals together. The first thing an insightful counselor learns is that the presenting story is never true, it's just the advertisement. Beneath is a complex story, and, with a struggling couple, the plot is no longer following the story line. We will birth the new story. Counseling two people who are enmeshed is the crafting of three stories: what each person needs, and what is the best that can be done together. This is the realm of thoughts and dreams. Truth is the first medicine we take.