Anger Management and Counselling in Lions Bay, BC.

Personally, I struggle with the term "anger management". Anger is an important emotion that needs to be viewed through a lens of acceptance not barred to a back room. Until a person understands the myriad of emotions that lie under the surface of 'anger', they are often controlled by these emotions, One of the purposes of anger is to alert the emotional person to the fact that something is wrong (much like pain signals the body when something is wrong). People do need to "control" their behaviour - especially when feelings are strong. i believe that people can learn to manage their life better once they understand what is affecting them AND what they want to accomplish by their action.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.

I focus on what the underlying cause of your anger is. I can help you identify the emotions that you may not have expressed. You can choose how to express your anger and learn how to more effectively communicate your feelings. Understanding what your triggers are helps you manage the anger so that you can feel more in control and more confident about yourself.

Anger is a strong emotion and when not regulated in a healthy manner, it can impact us in different ways. It can impact the most important relationships in our lives, our work and even how we feel about ourselves. When working with anger, I want my clients to first listen to what anger is trying to tell them. Anger, like any other emotion, has a message for us. It might be trying to tell us something about the pains we have never dealt with, the boundaries in our lives that are being crossed, and the changes that we desire in our lives. Once we learn to your anger and hear it out, we will work on tools to regulate it better and express it constructively without suppressing it.

Collaboratively, we will explore the underlying causes of anger and identify triggers within relationships (with self and other). An emphasis on relational strategies can promote effective expression and constructive conflict resolution. We will work on developing emotional intelligence, helping you recognize and understand what is beneath the surface of your anger. It can be useful to explore past experiences that might be contributing to present challenges. Treatment focusses on building healthy connections and increasing self-awareness.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

Anger is a normal healthy human emotion. When people allow it to get out of control it can turn destructive, it can lead to problems at work, personal relationships, and the overall quality of life. I like to think of anger using the metaphore of a hammer. You can do a lot of things with a hammer. You can build things and you can tear things apart. The hammer is just a tool just like anger can be a tool. Anger isn't the problem, it's what you do with it. I help people learn the skills they need to use their anger and the underlying hurt and feelings of injustice to make positive choices that lead to positive relationships and experiences.

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

Expression of healthy anger is important for emotional well-being. The question frequently asked is "What is the difference between expression of healthy anger/frustration versus hurtful behaviour?" Concepts such as these are dealt with during the counselling session. It is important to help the client understands that repressed anger only leads to further health-related challenges. Opening up through writing and/or compassionate dialogue helps the client learn to mange and process his/her/they emotions in a constructive manner. Graphic organizers depicting Anger Mountain and the 5 Point scale help the client begin to notice when his/her/they emotions are escalating.

Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. The challenge is how anger is expressed. Often we feel angry for no apparent reason or our anger is more than the situation warrants - or we do things in anger that are hurtful to ourselves or others. These are things that need to be looked at in counselling. What are the triggers? What other emotions are beneath the anger? How can we control our anger? What are healthy ways of expressing anger? in counselling you will be given the tools to understand and manage these feelings.

Do you find yourself yelling at your partner, losing your temper at your children, storming out of the office in a fury of frustration and anger? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that sometimes gets away on a person. Feeling disappointed in yourself when you 'lose your cool' is information that there may be better ways to handle a situation. Together we will work to help you develop the skills to communicate effectively, maintain your authenticity and foster strong, positive relationships.