Anger Management and Counselling in Vancouver, BC.

I work with voluntary clients who want to change how they express their anger. Very few of us were lucky enough to see anger modelled in healthy ways in the families we grew up in. I will support you to slow down and pay attention to what leads you to feeling frustrated and angry. You'll discover your "anger styles", what types of interactions and situations tend to set you off, and the internal and external cues it’s important for you to notice so that you can get a handle on this problem. The goal is for you to gain mastery over your anger, learn how to express it in skillful and fair ways, and see your relationships and self-esteem improve.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

We employ an integrative approach to assist our clients in gaining a deeper understanding of their emotions. Our primary goal is to eliminate the stigma surrounding anger by fostering a compassionate environment that encourages clients to explore the underlying meaning behind their anger. Through our guidance and support, we empower clients to express anger healthily and constructively.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

Anger is a normal healthy human emotion. When people allow it to get out of control it can turn destructive, it can lead to problems at work, personal relationships, and the overall quality of life. I like to think of anger using the metaphore of a hammer. You can do a lot of things with a hammer. You can build things and you can tear things apart. The hammer is just a tool just like anger can be a tool. Anger isn't the problem, it's what you do with it. I help people learn the skills they need to use their anger and the underlying hurt and feelings of injustice to make positive choices that lead to positive relationships and experiences.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

Are you a gay man that struggles with anger at yourself or other people? Perhaps you’re even searching for help after a blow up that’s left you feeling bad about your reactions. Anger often shows up in some unique ways for gay men, so the traditional approaches to anger management don’t always work. I help gay men transform their relationship with anger so that they can understand their anger better, use anger effectively, and feel more in control of their responses.

Anger is a strong emotion and when not regulated in a healthy manner, it can impact us in different ways. It can impact the most important relationships in our lives, our work and even how we feel about ourselves. When working with anger, I want my clients to first listen to what anger is trying to tell them. Anger, like any other emotion, has a message for us. It might be trying to tell us something about the pains we have never dealt with, the boundaries in our lives that are being crossed, and the changes that we desire in our lives. Once we learn to your anger and hear it out, we will work on tools to regulate it better and express it constructively without suppressing it.

In my approach to Counselling for Anger and Anger Management, I help clients gain insight into the root causes of their anger and equipping them with effective strategies to manage it constructively. I believe that anger is a natural emotion, but it becomes problematic when it is expressed in harmful ways. Through our therapeutic work, clients will learn to identify triggers, understand the underlying emotions driving their anger, and acquire practical techniques for healthy expression and control. By fostering self-awareness and providing tools for emotional regulation, clients can expect to experience improved relationships, reduced conflict, and an overall enhanced quality of life.

To incorporate either DBT skills training or Psychodynamic approaches when working with clients who may identify to having anger management. To assess and explore the root cause of such issues. The goal is to enhance the emotion regulation of the client and this may entail exploring their early childhood developments or if past traumas have been experienced. A focus on problem solving is the goal with emotion regulation skills training.

We work with individuals who want to work on and take accountability for their anger and violence. We offer a dignity informed approach to understand and offer insight and support in issues of anger and violence. Our hope is to delve into the context and history of the individual and determine what is happening in the anger and violence and help with accountability and different choices around the anger and violence.

Learning to recognize your anger without acting impulsively is a challenge I can help you with. My approach to anger includes: • Learning to recognize and fully understand your anger triggers • Working with self-esteem—often feelings of shame or self-doubt exacerbate anger problems • Finding ways to express the energy of anger in healthy ways, like assertion rather than aggression, setting boundaries with kind firmness, breath, movement and energetic release • Practices tailored to you, for between sessions to integrate the new healthy ways you are finding in our sessions together

People often confuse anger management with the impossible task of eliminating anger. Anger is a feeling, and, like all feelings, demands to be felt. My favourite line about this is, "Feelings are like sh--. They have to come out eventually." The key to anger management is to feel the anger, recognize it, and find ways to express and release it safely.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger is ultimately a healthy emotion that can be an adaptive and appropriate response to our circumstances. It can let us know what we need and be a helpful guide in taking positive and proactive actions. Yet, in some cases it can control and motivate us to take actions we regret or that lead to negative consequences. Developing an empowering relationship with anger is a skill that can be learned. In order to do so, our individual contexts need to be considered—our personalities, values, life histories, and underlying psychologies. There is no one size fits all approach. Anger can fulfill different functions in each of our lives.

Do you find yourself yelling at your partner, losing your temper at your children, storming out of the office in a fury of frustration and anger? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that sometimes gets away on a person. Feeling disappointed in yourself when you 'lose your cool' is information that there may be better ways to handle a situation. Together we will work to help you develop the skills to communicate effectively, maintain your authenticity and foster strong, positive relationships.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) specifically focuses on providing clients with skills in four specific areas: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. It is widely used to successfully treat many issues including anger management issues, domestic violence, PTSD, Substance Abuse, and Depression. We work with the individual to teach them how to manage and alter intense emotions, increase their ability to tolerate negative emotions, and communicate effectively in a non-emotional manner

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

What Clients are saying: "You were able to put my mind at ease even though I was very nervous about the first session. I didnt feel judged and was able to learn how to express my feelings better so that I wouldnt get mad as easy. I didnt realize that I had so many expectations on myself and was setting myself to get mad at everyone else. Thanks for teaching me about boundaries and how to love myself and other people with limits. Im not as stressed out and dont get mad like I used to."

Anger can become emotionally addictive and yet this may not be obvious to a client. They may have many reasons for being angry and may feel very justified in their anger. Anger can jeopardize meaningful relationships. I help clients get to the core of their anger and give them new tools and methods to handle these explosive feelings. I will also help my client uncover the underlying beliefs and sources of their anger. There is no need for them to continue to suffer.

Many people struggle with anger and don't have effective strategies to help them manage this anger. I work with clients to identify what makes them most angry and to teach ways to self-soothe, gain acceptance, communicate, and get their needs met in a more productive way. The strategies I choose for each client will depend on the client's unique personality requirements and past experiences of success.

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.