Anger Management and Counselling in Kelowna, BC.

We look at the family of origin and how expressions of anger were assimilated by the client. I explore a client's style of expressing anger and teach appropriate methods of assertiveness rather than passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive methods. I explore and heal the shame and negative core beliefs that lead to unhealthy expressions of anger.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

If you find yourself snapping at loved ones and feeling awful afterward, I help you step back, understand what’s underneath your reactions, and respond with greater clarity and control. When you keep saying, “I should be able to handle this,” but can’t, I help you stop hiding and start healing. And if your relationships feel like walking on eggshells, I guide you toward deeper trust, safer communication, and genuine connection. Real change begins here.

Therapy with me offers a safe, supportive space to understand and manage anger. We'll explore your triggers, build healthy coping tools, and uncover what's beneath the surface. You'll learn to express yourself clearly without losing control, strengthen relationships, and feel more grounded and in control of your emotions.

As a counsellor I have been helping people understand and manage anger for 25 yrs. My approach includes family of origin work, exploring the way we think and how this impacts our feelings and actions as well as understanding the goal of our anger. We would identify your history around expression of feelings/correction, triggers and raw spots in relationships in order to find new ways of coping and expressing our needs and wants. I want to be able to provide a safe, non-judgenmental approach that will also help you to be more gentle with yourself and others.

My approach to anger management focuses on understanding anger as a messenger rather than an enemy to be controlled. I'll help you identify the underlying needs, boundaries, or wounds that your anger may be trying to protect, while developing nervous system regulation skills for de-escalation in triggering moments. Using somatic awareness and parts work, you'll learn to recognize anger's early physical signal and respond with choice rather than reactivity.

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

Sometimes our emotions seem uncontrollable. Even though you do not mean to, anger outbursts or physical violence can leave those we love the most hurt and scarred. Anger management is about learning about emotions. By understanding the root of our anger, and specifically what "triggers" you have, you can come up with a unique plan. By stopping the anger cycle before you explode, or finding better ways to cool off, you can live better with others.

Did you know that anger is the healthy response to injustice? & That it is there for a very valuable purpose? & That if unexpressed, it can actually result in anxiety, depression, & even physical illness? This is called "anger turned inward, & it causes havoc inside of us. Ever feel yourself going from "0 to 100" at something someone says or does, & it shocks even you? This is "anger turned outward" & is also a result of unexpressed anger. Anger has a way of "leaking out" at unexpected moments & with unexpected intensity, hurting our relationships. If you have found yourself experiencing either of these, please contact me. You can be free from these forces that seem to control you!

Acquiring support for Anger Management helps you move through life's challenges and also helps create better relationships in your life. Together we dig a little deeper to find out what's the root cause of your anger and then apply a variety of tools to your toolbox to cope day by day. A straight forward approach is what I strive for. No sugar coating.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

Anger is one of the most valuable emotions that we have but it is also the most misunderstood. There is sometimes a false sense of power generated with anger, however speaking or acting from a place of anger will often almost guarantee our needs with respect to anger will not be met.. Often in an attempt to "manage' anger we are actually either trying to suppress it or to vent it. Either of these options are usually counter productive. Instead if we see anger as a warning light on the 'dashboard', alerting us to deeper emotions at the root of anger we can transform it and use it in a productive and helpful way.

Anger issues can both result from distress in relationships and precipitate distress. Support in addressing anger issues can have a signifiacant positive impact on overall relationship functioning. The fact that relationships are one of our primary coping mechanisms multiplies the potential distress when anger is present as it impacts the very mechanisms we use to cope.