Anger Management and Counselling in Kelowna, BC.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

I believe that anger, as an emotion, is often misunderstood; and because of this, feared. Pushed to our limits, we might say or do things that hurt others or the ones we love, adding shame and loss right into the mix. Because of this, we might work hard to avoid it, push it away, or appease it - feeding into a cycle, keeping us stuck. I help clients to make sense of their experience, in a new, non-judgemental way in order to regain a sense of control, de-escalate and self-regulate, and to use anger effectively, as it was intended.

Acquiring support for Anger Management helps you move through life's challenges and also helps create better relationships in your life. Together we dig a little deeper to find out what's the root cause of your anger and then apply a variety of tools to your toolbox to cope day by day. A straight forward approach is what I strive for. No sugar coating.

Anger issues can both result from distress in relationships and precipitate distress. Support in addressing anger issues can have a signifiacant positive impact on overall relationship functioning. The fact that relationships are one of our primary coping mechanisms multiplies the potential distress when anger is present as it impacts the very mechanisms we use to cope.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

Did you know that anger is the healthy response to injustice? & That it is there for a very valuable purpose? & That if unexpressed, it can actually result in anxiety, depression, & even physical illness? This is called "anger turned inward, & it causes havoc inside of us. Ever feel yourself going from "0 to 100" at something someone says or does, & it shocks even you? This is "anger turned outward" & is also a result of unexpressed anger. Anger has a way of "leaking out" at unexpected moments & with unexpected intensity, hurting our relationships. If you have found yourself experiencing either of these, please contact me. You can be free from these forces that seem to control you!

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

As a counsellor I have been helping people understand and manage anger for 25 yrs. My approach includes family of origin work, exploring the way we think and how this impacts our feelings and actions as well as understanding the goal of our anger. We would identify your history around expression of feelings/correction, triggers and raw spots in relationships in order to find new ways of coping and expressing our needs and wants. I want to be able to provide a safe, non-judgenmental approach that will also help you to be more gentle with yourself and others.

Anger is one of the most valuable emotions that we have but it is also the most misunderstood. There is sometimes a false sense of power generated with anger, however speaking or acting from a place of anger will often almost guarantee our needs with respect to anger will not be met.. Often in an attempt to "manage' anger we are actually either trying to suppress it or to vent it. Either of these options are usually counter productive. Instead if we see anger as a warning light on the 'dashboard', alerting us to deeper emotions at the root of anger we can transform it and use it in a productive and helpful way.

My approach to anger management focuses on understanding anger as a messenger rather than an enemy to be controlled. I'll help you identify the underlying needs, boundaries, or wounds that your anger may be trying to protect, while developing nervous system regulation skills for de-escalation in triggering moments. Using somatic awareness and parts work, you'll learn to recognize anger's early physical signal and respond with choice rather than reactivity.

Anger often signals that something important inside you needs attention. Beneath it, there may be hurt, fear, frustration, or unmet needs that feel hard to express. You might notice yourself reacting quickly, struggling to communicate clearly, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions that build up and spill over. In therapy, we’ll explore the deeper emotions and patterns driving your anger while also noticing how it shows up in your body. Using a blend of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic approaches, you’ll build greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and more grounded ways of responding in relationships and daily life.